68: Upsetti (Purple) Spaghetti

This week, we're taking a look at the classic, iconic Purple Worm, particularly through a somewhat disturbingly detailed ecology article.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

You the adventurer. Yes, you. Do you desire knowledge of immense worlds and arcane power? A codex of untold stories and lore? Or perhaps simply easy listening for your daily commute. Then feast your eyes, or more accurately, yes, upon Dungeon Pedia. Shit's about to get nerdy in here.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

And I'm Travis Peasley.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

And it was supposed to be Travis's day today. My day today. Yeah. And I was doing the research and working on it yesterday, and then we had stuff come up. So I just left everything up on my computer because I was like, I'll come and finish it before we go to record.

SPEAKER_04 1:09

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 1:09

Uh, woke up, went back in there, and I'm going to assume my computer decided to just update itself.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

Without asking.

SPEAKER_03 1:18

Without asking. Very rude. Um, all of my PDFs and everything were still up, and there was a Word document up, but it was now blank. And there was no way to recover anything that I had before because it didn't save before it restarted my computer.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

I mean, you already pointed this out, so it's not unfair for me to say this. But but you could also put it as you didn't save anything.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

Right. And part of it is definitely my fault. I did not save anything. I should have.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

You also didn't expect your computer to just g give you the middle finger. Yeah. Yeah. It it was uh I'm sorry for laughing. I'm laughing because I it hurts me also. Yeah, it it's like we've all been there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

I mean, it it happens. I'm just glad that you already had something prepared because I sure didn't anymore.

SPEAKER_02 2:13

I I have before done like research throughout the week, woke up and my document didn't s didn't save properly, I guess, because like it saved it, like I had an earlier version.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Yeah, weirdly, that's happened to me once before too, because you were using like an actual program. We were like this happened to Taylor and I with like Google Docs.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

Yeah, like yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

Yeah, I was using Microsoft Word. Yeah. And I don't have the autosave every you know couple minutes enabled. And I need to do that after we get done, actually.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

Because the solution isn't to disable automatic updates. Because sometimes your computer just says fuck you and doesn't work.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

It really does. Like, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:57

It uh see I could do that, but then I would forget to update my computer, period. And like three years from now.

SPEAKER_01 3:04

It would be running like absolute shit, and you would be like, why is my computer so bad?

SPEAKER_03 3:09

Exactly. Oh but thankfully Lewin has uh saved the day on that one. So what do you have since I don't have anything?

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Um what you what you do have is a fantastic research strategy that you talked about um a couple episodes ago, which is just finding a compilation of all of the uh issues of Dragon Magazine that have ecology of articles, because that's what I did this time. I was like, I I don't I have no idea what I want to do right now. So I'm just gonna go scroll through all of the ecology articles and just pick something out. Hey, you know what? It's a viable strategy. It works, it it does work. So uh today, which I guess I've already spoiled what's usually the most exciting part of the episode is when we talk about ecology articles. Um, but we're gonna be talking about purple worms. Yeah. Purple worms. Yeah, a very uh very iconic DD monster. Yeah. Uh and very um, I say this in the in the best way possible, very simple. Uh if if you you well, you know what I mean though.

SPEAKER_02 4:25

Like there's not a lot of complexity to it. Um or there's like not a lot of nuance to them.

SPEAKER_03 4:33

Or are they just simple-minded?

SPEAKER_01 4:35

Oh yeah, very like that's not even a spoiler, they're stupid as fuck. Okay. Um, no, just like uh I guess simple is like, you know, there's there's some things that it's like, you know, you took an owl and a bear and you put them together, and you know, okay, so simple in concept. Yeah, and there's like, you know, it's like liches. It's like an undead skeleton person, but it's not actually a skeleton person because it's all about the gemstone that their soul is in, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

See, that does not seem simple.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

But no, but I'm saying, but purple worms are like, it's a big worm and it's purple. You know what it doesn't. Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 5:09

So your your your definition of a lich was uh the opposite of Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Okay. In in terms of iconic DD monsters. Ruffy. I was I was pulling some other ones. But yeah, it's a big worm and it's purple. I like it. Straight to the point.

SPEAKER_03 5:23

Okay, it's a big purple worm.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

All right. That's it, guys. See you next week. No, I'm kidding. So uh purple worms were first introduced in the Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Monster Manual, which was released in 1977. So they've been here for a while. Yeah, yeah. They're iconic for a reason. A good amount of time.

SPEAKER_03 5:41

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:42

Um, so they their appearance remains pretty consistent. They're big purple worms. Um noted. Yeah, so they uh there's some details that change. Um they were large segmented worms with large lamprey-like mouths that were large and purple. I'm sensing a theme here. They're big and they're purple. And I love them. Hey, take a shot every time we say purple in this episode. No, you'll die. And then go to the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Yeah, do not do that. So adults were eight to nine feet in diameter and forty to fifty feet in length, and were more commonly encountered than young purple worms. Right. So, like, they're they are very large. An average clutch of purple worm eggs yielded about 10 to 20 hatchlings, which were one foot in diameter and five feet in length at birth.

SPEAKER_02 6:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:38

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 6:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_03 6:39

I mean still pretty big.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Yeah, that's still a pretty big uh That's a big baby.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

That's a big baby.

SPEAKER_01 6:47

They burrowed underground in a constant search for food, which they detected using their 60-foot range of Tremor Sense. Granted, in Advanced Legends of Dragons it was not yet referred to as Tremorsense, but it's Tremor Sense. Yeah, it was Pre-Tremor Sense. Pre-Tremor Sense.

SPEAKER_03 7:03

Yeah, it was just what was it called back then? Now I'm trying to remember.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Um you know, I don't think it even I don't think it even had a name, like in the stat block. Was it blind sense? No, it was not blind sense.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

Yeah, blind sense is another thing, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

Blind sense is different. It it literally, I believe, in the dis they're like the text portion of their description just said that they can sense vibrations up to 60 feet. Like it didn't even have a name. I don't believe. Bam. Um, and they returned to their layers to rest and spit up indigestible materials such as metal and crystals. Okay. Their int their intelligence was even lower than animal intelligence. Oh no. At a non-classification.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

Oh, these poor things.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Yeah, because in uh in advanced dungeons and dragons, it's not necessarily just like numbers. It's it's like, you know, intelligence. You have like super genius. Intelligence. No. Yeah, you have like super genius, uh, average, whatever, uh, animal. And purple worms are at a non.

SPEAKER_03 8:06

Non. Non. Just just non.

SPEAKER_01 8:08

Which they share with creatures such as the Portuguese man of war that's listed like a little above them because that's the alphabet. Yeah. So they're as intelligent as the Portuguese man of war, which is to say not very much. That's that's a creature that doesn't even really have a brain. Um, and their alignment was neutral. Because again, in the They're too stupid to Yeah, in a situation like the Tarask.

SPEAKER_03 8:35

So we're starting off great with these things. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

Um we're starting off with all the things that make them bad. We're dunking on them, basically. Yeah, we're dunking on them really hard, and then we're gonna talk about the things that make them good. Um they have a poisonous, that's the word of the monster manual, not mine, because technically it's venomous. Um stinger on their tail, which they can use for back attacks or in spacious little areas that allow them to coil their bodies. Okay. Um, if a target is stung and fails their save against poison, they die. Just straight up.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

Yeah, they just die?

SPEAKER_01 9:11

They die. Yeah, they die.

SPEAKER_03 9:12

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 9:13

So fuck you. Okay, yeah. Yeah, um, you know, we've we've talked about balancing in in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. Right. How they later went back and were like, maybe we should eat this a little different.

SPEAKER_03 9:30

Maybe a little different way here. Like maybe just as much.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

Yeah. Um, so Purple Worms had a simple but very powerful bite attack, and I d I feel like just directly quoting this is the best way to put it. Oh boy. Quote, and any uh hit twenty percent over the required score, that is four or more over the required number, or a 100%, which is a dice roll of 20, score in any case indicates that the creature has engulfed its victim. Welcome to the Vor Zone.

SPEAKER_03 10:08

What the hell? Okay. Yeah. So a natural 20 just like you get eaten. Yeah. You have been eaten.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Yeah. I I decided to pull that quote because you know, Thacko and stuff, it's confusing.

SPEAKER_03 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Um still. An adult worm could swallow a target up to eight feet tall and six feet wide, or vice versa. So if it's like an animal. Yeah. Uh any creature swallowed will die in six rounds and will be completely digested in twelve. Aka, they cannot be brought back to life at this point. A target can attempt to cut their way out of the worm's stomach. Um, the AC of the stomach is a nine, um, the AC of the outside is a six, which remember, higher is worse. Right. Right. So obviously it's really easy to hit at that point. It's easy to hit the surface of the area you're in. You know. Turns out. Turns out.

SPEAKER_03 11:02

Yeah, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Um, and each round inside the worm's stomach, the damage able to be dealt is cumulatively reduced by one. I e on the second round, the damage dealt suffers in negative two, on the third, it suffers in negative three, and so on. So the longer you're in there, the harder it is to get out.

SPEAKER_02 11:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Because, you know, stomach acid. Right. Because you're gradually getting weakened.

SPEAKER_03 11:24

You will gradually die dissolved and in like 36 seconds. Limiting your movement. Yeah. Don't worry about it. And consciousness, probably.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

That's limiting your consciousness. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 11:39

I mean, you're not wrong. Yeah, I've been playing Grim World. Consciousness is a thing. It's that's just what my brain went to. Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Um, there was a variety of purple worm called a mottled worm that shares all the same characteristics with purple worms, but instead lives underwater in shallow muck. They swim now, fuck you. Yeah. That's nice. Could you could you just imagine just like being on the ocean and just like a purple worm?

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Just no. Yeah, I could not, actually. I would rather not, actually.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

You sure? I already do not like the ocean. I don't want purple worms added into that. Thanks. Thanks though.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

You're welcome. So next we're going to move into Advanced Dungeons and Dragons second edition. Um, purple worms have many of the same characteristics that they have in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons first edition, with a few notable changes and variants that have been added. Yeah. Yay, variants. Okay, no, these are actually kind of cool. Oh, they are now up to 140 to 150 feet in length.

SPEAKER_02 12:47

You said these were gonna be cool.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Yeah, don't worry about it. So, okay, so this is interesting. This that is what was said in the text, like the description. Like adult purple worms can be up to 140 to 150 feet in length. But their stat block lists them as being, I think, huge creatures at 25 feet in length. So what is the truth? Because that's a big difference there.

SPEAKER_03 13:09

That is a big difference.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Like, no, I don't I don't know if that's meant to be very notable examples, but like the average one that you would encounter is 25 feet long. But I don't think that was how it was put. Anyway, like if I were a DM, like my purple worm's gonna be 150 feet long. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 13:31

Like it's gonna be like the biggest it can fucking get.

SPEAKER_01 13:34

Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

Maybe, I guess, depending on the situation, I suppose. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Yeah. No, no, any situation. Bigger's better.

SPEAKER_03 13:42

Just okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

Bigger, longer, and purple. Uh, and targets that have been swallowed now take two hours to digest instead of 12 melee rounds. So, you know, even if you die.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

That does make a little bit more sense. Because like biology. Yeah, like something digesting in that fast. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:03

Yeah, pretty much unheard of. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:05

Yeah, it seems a little out there. I wish I could digest things that fast. Um, so purple worms are solitary and only come together to mate. We'll talk about that later. And baby purple worms burrow away immediately after hatching. They're not a social. Yeah, they're not social. They don't care for their young. They're just kind of, you know, which I mean makes sense. They're worms. You you're not wrong. Like, you know, if there is a social worm variety out there or worms that care for their babies, I would actually love to hear about them, but they're worms.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

They're yeah. And their intelligence is low, so their intelligence is sad.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Their intelligence is no. Yeah, their intelligence is literally uh, well, it's not because it was literally like non with a hyphen, but in my mind it was like the French word for no. Non. Non. Uh so the model worm variant exists unchanged, but a variant called the Thunder Herder was introduced. The Thunder Herder? Yeah. Uh Thunder Herders were smaller than uh other purple worms, uh, at about three to five feet in diameter and five to ten feet in length, which let me say is a chonky boy. Like when you consider like the ratio, that's a that's a somewhat short, somewhat thick boy. So big and round. Big and round. Um and they traveled in herds, so these are social, of 10 to 20, or pardon me, 10 to 100 individuals shallowly under desert sands.

SPEAKER_03 15:41

I'm sorry. 10 to 100?

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Yeah. See, I said 10 to 20 because that's what I wanted it to be.

SPEAKER_03 15:48

Ten to one hundred is a lot.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

That's a lot of worms.

SPEAKER_01 15:53

That's a lot of worms.

SPEAKER_02 15:54

Yeah. Um I I I don't have the words for that, actually.

SPEAKER_01 15:58

Yeah, it's kind of absurd. Yeah, kind of upsetting. Um they fed on small desert creatures and ejected the sand. They could not digest sand. And they could not inflict damage with their bite, but they caused small earthquakes in the areas they traveled under. So imagine just a herd of a hundred of these things just coming through and just no causing a massive fucking earthquake.

SPEAKER_03 16:21

But they can't digest sand, so yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:23

Just throw some sand on their face, clearly. Pocket sand.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

Pocket sand.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

You know, it's uh coarse and rough and irritating to the digestive.

SPEAKER_03 16:32

A lot of pocket sand for that.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Yeah. Well, I mean, they like they like swim through it and they eat it. They just eject it. You know what I mean? Like their bodies don't Yeah, yeah. I I know what you mean. Yeah, their bodies don't do anything with it. Right.

SPEAKER_03 16:45

It just kind of goes and it's still sand when it comes out. Or probably more like mud at that point, but still.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Yeah, we'll uh leave that up to the viewers to decide. Oh, we'll talk about m a little bit more about their digestion later. Oh boy.

SPEAKER_03 17:00

Um that's cool. That that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

Right. That's nice. So these that was the well, okay. The those that the Thunder Herder was the actual variant of purple worm because the way this one was set up was like worm. Like the creature category was worm. Oh, okay. And then it was like purple worm, mottled worm. Um, but I decided to talk about these guys alongside the purple worm because they're right there and they're kind of cool. So, you know. Um, so several types of worm were included alongside the purple worm. The giant blood worm was a mottled slimy green worm with a brown underbelly that hid underneath muck and attacked anyone who stepped on it. Oh. Which I mean, like, I would too.

SPEAKER_03 17:43

I would be a little mad if you stepped on me, I won't lie.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

Um, it would attempt to fasten itself onto a target to drain their blood, causing 1d8 points of damage until removed, which you remove it with an open doors check. Okay. Okay. I love the incredibly hyper-specific skills. The mouth is a door. Yeah. I mean, it's a door to something. You're not. I mean, I'm not wrong, but I'm not also not right. But um, they were also very weak to fire damage, and they were apparently supposed to be 20 feet long, but for some reason, and no no diameter was given. But for some reason, I feel like something that's 20 feet long would be doing more than 1d8 points of damage if it was attached to you.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

Well, I mean But it's also called giant, so I'm not really Unless its diameter is literally that of like an actual like groundworm.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

Like very, very small.

SPEAKER_03 18:44

Or leech and then.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Yeah, or even like a few inches. And it's just really long.

SPEAKER_03 18:49

Really long tapeworming at that point.

SPEAKER_01 18:52

Maybe. I don't know. But in any case, they're they're called giant and supposed to be 20 feet long, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 19:00

Yeah, that that seems a little weird and maybe not completely thought through.

SPEAKER_02 19:06

It's fine.

SPEAKER_03 19:06

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Again, uh, sometimes I feel like there are probably too many cooks in the kitchen. It happens.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Uh so next we have the bookworm, which was a one-inch long worm that inhabited libraries and could change its normally gray color to match its surroundings. It's a literal bookworm. I love it. I love it so much. Someone they saw an opportunity and they took it.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

I love it. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Um, so they could not consume living matter, but ate through all manner of material used to make books at a rate of three inches per round, which let me say is very fast.

SPEAKER_02 19:45

You know, yeah, you're right. That is pretty pretty damn fast, actually.

SPEAKER_01 19:50

Yeah. Um, they move very quickly and always try to escape combat. So they're just little wormy guys that like to eat books.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

I like I want to say I can't believe they made an actual bookworm.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

But you can't. You know, you you know you believe that they did.

SPEAKER_03 20:09

Yeah, yeah. It's like it seems so bizarre, but then I'm just like, yeah, no, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 20:14

No, that checks out.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Yeah, that sounds about right. Um, so the final type introduced alongside uh these other ones was the rot grub, which is a half inch to two inch long maggot-like worm that lived in trash. Same. Uh, if they touched exposed skin, they would burrow into the flesh and secrete a mild toxin that deadened the area. The target had to make a successful wisdom check to notice the rot grub. Um, so next I'm gonna pull another quote because I feel like this is the easiest way to explain this. Oh boy. Um quote Fire kills two d10 grubs per application to infested flesh, but after one d6 rounds, they are too deep to be burned. A cure disease will kill the rot grubs. If the worms are not stopped, they reach the heart in one d three turns, killing the victim.

SPEAKER_03 21:05

These things burrow fast as hell. No, Joe.

SPEAKER_01 21:10

So okay, I I am assuming that the 1D3 comes after the initial 1d6, but that's still very fast.

SPEAKER_02 21:19

That is still very fast.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Yeah, it's still just a really fast burrow.

SPEAKER_01 21:24

Also, like fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

Fuck you, dude.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Yeah, like that's crazy. Because that's what like let's say that it's like max on each of them is like 9d6, which is like 54 seconds. Yeah. So like literally after first touch, if you don't notice it 54 seconds later, you're dead.

SPEAKER_02 21:44

Which is insane to think about, actually.

SPEAKER_01 21:46

I will say you do get you do get a wisdom check every round.

SPEAKER_03 21:50

So you just better hope that your wisdom is not shit too low, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:56

Yeah, so that or so that's like something. But Like barely. Literally, like 54 seconds later, you're dead.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

Yeah, it's still not great because that's just it it it just burrows so fast. Yeah, like there's no Also, if something is burrowing through you that fast, you would think you would notice. Right? Yeah. What's the difficulty check on that wisdom? I'm not sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:21

I do not have that handy.

SPEAKER_03 22:23

But um because I feel like it should be fairly high, at least after a couple rounds, because like pain.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yeah. Well remember, they they they deaden the area. I'm assuming that they would continually do that even as they're eating through your inside. Right.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

I forgot about that part. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:41

I was so focused on just the fact that it bursts so fast and yeah, and I forgot about the numbingness.

SPEAKER_01 22:49

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:50

Ugh. Yeah, that's a little upsetti. Upsetti spaghetti.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Upsetti spaghetti. That's what that's so that's the name of this episode. That's what we should call purple worms upsetti spaghetti. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yes. You're kind of right. Oh, they don't make me upset. So next we're gonna go to third edition. Yay! I don't know why I said that so excitedly.

SPEAKER_03 23:17

No, but you you you didn't I wasn't quite sure if we were supposed to be excited with you or not. There was a bit of hesitation, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

But but I'm excited. We're here now. So purpleworms in third edition are classified as gargantuan magical beasts. Uh adults are five feet in diameter and eighty feet long. So they were shrunk a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Oh good, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 23:39

Or maybe expanded because they used to be maybe twenty-five feet long, but maybe a hundred and fifty feet long. Who knows?

SPEAKER_03 23:47

Anywhere between that ridiculous range, you know. Right.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

That's not a crazy difference. Um, they remain always neutral in alignment and now have an intelligence of one. So they're moving up in the world. Damn.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

Jesus, these things are getting just absolutely fucking destroyed.

SPEAKER_03 24:07

That's an improvement, is the worst part. Yeah, I was gonna say, but their intelligence did increase technology.

SPEAKER_02 24:13

You're not wrong.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

Oh, so um references made to their gizzards, which produce their stomach acid and sometimes hold acid-resistant resistant things consumed by the worms, such as gems and ores. So it's a it's a gizzard specifically, which in real animals is like a specific section of the stomach. Right. So they've they got gizzards. Worms have gizzards, this just in. Um so in combat, their usual posture is to coil into a 20-foot diameter shape, so you know, it's more up. Yeah. I'm making gestures with my hands that you guys can't see. Um, that allows both the use of their stinging tail and bite attack. Um, their poison, venom, now does strength damage on a failed fortitude save, which is 1d6 initially and 2d6 on the second round. So not not as broken as if you fail your your save against poison, you die. But strength damage is still scary to me.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

Strength damage is scary.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

One time Travis did strength damage in a fight with my character who has seven points of strength, and I was like, oh god, I'm gonna die to a bunch of stupid bees.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

Bees. Not the bees damage. Not the bees! And out of all the times I could have not done strength damage, I decided to do it that time. I'm still not mad.

SPEAKER_01 25:40

It's uh I'm still mad. I'm a little mad. I'm mostly over it though. So to swallow a target, it's now harder. Um a purple worm must hit I'm sorry, I tried to. I was just gonna I was being serious over here.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

It's just bad. It's just bad.

SPEAKER_01 26:01

Bad. So a purple worm must hit a bite attack, succeed on a grapple check to get a hold of the target in its jaws, and then succeed on a subsequent grapple check to swallow the target.

SPEAKER_02 26:12

You know, at least it's more difficult.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Like At least it isn't just like what, like a fourth of the time. Yeah, or just eats you automatically. Just swallowing you automatically. Yeah, at least they have to actually work for it. Pretty much.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Make them work for it.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Yep. Make make them work to swallow you. Um, so once inside the worm, the target takes two d8 plus twelve crushing and eight acid damage. So a lot of damage. Um, they can cut their way out by inflicting 25 slashing or piercing damage to the gizzard, which has an AC of 17. So, like, that's pr like okay, that's pretty high, but remember, third edition does have really inflated numbers. And these are also like high-level encounters. Right, like so you probably wouldn't be you probably wouldn't have too much trouble hitting an AC of 17. And also, like, you're literally inside something's stomach. I would probably have a hard time doing combat inside something's stomach. Probably.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Start blasting fireballs everywhere.

SPEAKER_01 27:10

Because I would be freaking out. Uh mind, man.

SPEAKER_03 27:14

Fireball.

SPEAKER_01 27:16

So, uh, however, after the target cuts their way out of the gizzard, the muscles of the worm close the hole, which means that another target must cut their own way out. So you can't make a hole in the side of the worm and just like everyone pile out.

SPEAKER_03 27:33

It has a weird sort of regeneration thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

We'll we'll talk about that later.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

That is kind of cool. I I do I don't like it when you say something upsetting and then say, we'll talk about that later. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Um, so we're gonna finish off third edition with another quote. Um, I feel kind of bad for pulling so many direct quotes, but there's only so many ways you can rephrase some of these things. Yeah. And also for earlier edition stuff, it's just sometimes I honestly don't know how to parse it. Well, I know how to parse third edition, but you know, like first and second, whatever. So, quote, a gargantuan worm's interior. Yes, the word interior was used, can hold two large, eight medium, thirty-two small, one hundred and twenty-eight tiny, five hundred and twelve diminutive or smaller opponents.

SPEAKER_03 28:20

Wow. That's a lot. That um that that is a lot. That Jesus, okay. That's a lot of stomach real estate. I mean, I know they're big. Like, I know that they're big. That just I know it puts it in a different perspective, it really does.

SPEAKER_01 28:36

Also, I want to know I wanna know what kind of combination you could have of these.

SPEAKER_03 28:42

Uh, there's a lot of math involved in that.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

Like, like, is that two large, eight medium, thirty-two small, hundred twenty-eight tiny, five hundred and twelve, and f and five hundred and twelve diminutive? Or is it like one large and four medium? Or is it four medium and sixteen small? I don't know. I wanna know. I wanna know exactly how many adventures we can fit in this bad boy. Yep. Slams hand on top of purple worm. I'm so hip with the kids. Same. So I mentioned that ecology article.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 29:17

Um I decided that since it's the most exciting part of the episode, because it is, we're gonna be talking about that last. So we're gonna go to fourth edition and fifth edition, get some more kind of boring stuff out of the way before we talk about the juicy details in the ecology article. Okay. But before we do any of that, we're gonna take a quick break.

SPEAKER_03 29:40

You're just gonna make this like go on forever, aren't you? Just like a purple worm.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Oh. Hey everybody, thank you for checking out our purple worms episode.

SPEAKER_03 29:53

Yeah, it's been uh pretty interesting so far.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

I I'm surprised by how much information there is about these guys.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

Right? Uh, some iconic DD monsters. Um getting back to our roots. Getting back to our roots. And we have an opportunity for you guys to obtain some iconic dice and dice related accessories. We have an affiliate partnership with Metallic Dice Games. That's metallicdice games.com. And you can use our offer code Dungeon Pedia for 10% off your entire order. Um, they have dice, dice towels, uh, dice trays, different kinds of dice, and also some really beautiful exclusive dice sets. Yes, we love the exclusive dice sets. Yes, we love them so much that we want to share them with you for free. For you. For one of you. We are doing a giveaway for a set of uh Metallic Dice Games exclusive dice.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

As well as a surprise.

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What is the surprise? You'll have to enter. Well, it's a surprise. It's a surprise. You'll have to enter to find out.

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But I mean, everything comes from metallic dice games. Just it is all metallic dice games games.

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As well as the set of dice that we are as well as pictures of the dice.

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We don't have pictures of the surprise, though, because it is a surprise. And that would ruin the surprise.

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There's a beautiful question mark picture that Travis found, though. Yeah, yeah.

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Oh yeah, we do have a picture of that. Thank you, Google. So our the giveaway is going to be running until uh it is August. September 1st. Time isn't real. She practiced this. I literally, we had this conversation before. And still you said August. Hey, listen, time isn't real. So the giveaway is going to end on September 1st at noon US Central Time. Yes. Yes. Which is like UCT. Do your math. UCT minus five. I don't know. U.S. Central Time.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

Yeah, it's just US Central Time. Just Google it.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

Yeah, I mean, almost anything is gonna have a converter for you.

SPEAKER_03 31:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:58

I'm a dumb American.

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And I cannot convert every time right now.

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We're dumb Americans.

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Of course, if you want to support us directly, we still have our d our dungeon. Our dungeon. Some dungeon.

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Of course, if you want to support us directly, we still have our Patreon at Dungeonpedia. I mean, that's how you find it. It's we uh we we said it the first week we had uh this uh go-up. We are still saying it now. We got lucky and we were able to reserve Dungeonpedia for everything.

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But yep, go there if you want to support us directly, that would be appreciated.

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Very much so.

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We are still working on getting everything in order and edited with our actual play podcast projectile dysfunction. It's hard.

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You all understand the uh current way of things, and things are getting worse in our home state.

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So Yes. Um things are fluctuating up and down and now kind of down. Just staying down. So we're working on it, but if you want any other information, you can check it out at our Twitter for that, which is just ProjectileCast.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

We just have a backlog of episodes if you want to listen. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

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If you haven't listened to it and you want something new to listen to, I want to say we have 10-ish episodes up. Uh that sounds right.

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Yeah, something like that.

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Um 10 full weeks of episodes. And uh they're good, they're not exactly short listens, so you you're gonna have at least you have content.

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Uh we have 19 episodes.

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Oh. Yeah, it was like 10 sounds low. Um I believe each episode is bare minimum about two hours. So there you go for some content. Yeah. Good, good content. If you want any more information about this podcast, however, and also to enter the giveaway, you can follow us on our Twitter and our Instagram at Dungeonpedia. On our Twitter is the post about the giveaway. It's pinned to the top, so you should have no trouble finding it. And of course, if you want to talk to us or tell us something or request an episode, uh, you can email us at dungeonpedia.podcast at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_03 34:13

And don't forget that wherever you're listening to us, you can subscribe and get notifications for our new episodes. If that platform you're listening to us on has the ability, we would really appreciate it if you would rate us and leave a review just to help us kind of jump up those ranks there. And as always, just tell your friends.

SPEAKER_01 34:34

Tell your friends who like worms. I I mean, you're a fan of DD. You probably have a friend who likes worms.

SPEAKER_02 34:39

Yeah, I mean, we're all weird in different ways.

SPEAKER_03 34:42

That's just kind of how it goes. But yes, spread the word, tell your friends, family, whoever might be interested, and uh you know, just give us that little boost as well.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

And again, if you just want to use this episode to torture your friends, we totally get it.

SPEAKER_03 34:54

We we do get that too, yes.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

Um, you know what else we get? What? How much we love uh Alexander Nakarata for our theme song, Blacksmith? That is true.

SPEAKER_03 35:03

That is very true.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

We do understand that. Yes, sorry. So much.

SPEAKER_03 35:07

But enough of that. Let's get back to the uh purple worms and see what other interesting things you have.

SPEAKER_01 35:15

Yeah, we just gotta we just gotta get through fourth edition first.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Yeah, I can't lie, I'm a little scared, but let's go find out. It's not too bad.

SPEAKER_01 35:22

Okay, so we're gonna breeze through fourth edition, I promise. Okay, you know, I will say, to their credit, oh boy. Fourth edition didn't do anything crazy with their alignment. They are unaligned. And you know, spoiler alert, that actually doesn't change ever. Their alignment has always been neutral across the board. I'm okay with that. No, I am too, because literally nothing else makes sense. Now, granted, that has not stopped fourth edition more from fucking around with alignments. Well, yeah, but it literally like what else would it be?

SPEAKER_02 35:52

It literally nothing else fits.

SPEAKER_01 35:54

Yeah, like anyway, so uh I know I'm selling this. Fourth edition's kind of boring uh in this instance. Um, so mention is made that purple worms can eat anything, which contrasts their previous need to eject things like gems. Right. Um, and also that they are blind, relying on blind sight and tremor sense, which is 10 and 20 respectively. I don't know if that's 10 feet and 20 feet, because I know fourth edition does something weird with like squares. Yeah. That might be that might be 10 and 20 squares, respectively, which would be 50 and 100 feet, which sounds closer to that. That sounds about right. Yeah. But like whatever, it's fine. Um It's just fourth edition. It yeah, it's not like their um blind sight and tremor sense matter in a combat simulator. Oh, wait. Anyway. Not at all. Um, so swallowed targets now take ten points of damage and ten points of acid damage at the start of the worm's turns and can escape as a move action if the purple worm dies. Um, there was no real way described to get out any other way. So I guess you're just SOL until your buddies kill it.

SPEAKER_03 37:06

So, you know. Now they just took away the whole don't cut yourself out.

SPEAKER_01 37:11

The whole the whole thing, yeah. Yeah. But I guess at least like you're at a little bit less risk of actually dying in there because it does. I mean, 20 points of damage is a lot of damage, but at least it isn't like Absurd levels. And then you'll be digested in two hours.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Like So like it it's certainly livable.

SPEAKER_01 37:30

Yeah. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 37:32

I hope that your buddies can kill it before you drop below zero.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

I guess. Um, so they are unaligned and have an intelligence of two. They're getting hey, you know what? Getting smarter.

SPEAKER_03 37:43

They've gotten a little smarter.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

They're getting more nervous now.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Right? Next thing you know, they're gonna be on like the level of the Tarask with his like, what, three? I think he has. So, you know, they've matched the bigger guy now. Yeah. These these do remind me very much of the Tarask, just that unaligned stupid. Unaligned hunger, you know? All they do is eat. Unaligned stupid. Unaligned stupid. That's my alignment. I like it. Um, they are still solitary hunters, they are sometimes drawn to the vibrations caused by battling, uh, leading to them surprising the combatants by blasting out of the wall or up from the ground.

SPEAKER_04 38:24

Can you imagine?

SPEAKER_01 38:27

You're just like. And I use this example because they're noted to specifically be a common problem in the underdog. But imagine you're like in the underdark fighting like some Lolth cultists or something like that. Right. And a purple worm just shoots out of the wall because it came to because of the vibrations.

SPEAKER_03 38:45

Um yep, I would probably run.

SPEAKER_01 38:49

That would be one of those instances- probably just die. That would be that, yeah. That would be one of those instances where it's like, okay, I know we were just fighting a second ago, but we like have to team up now to take this thing down because this is now a bigger problem. Yeah, this is like, and then you like you you kind of like bond a little bit, and then the villains come over to the good side, but they're like really awkward.

SPEAKER_02 39:08

Are you just rewriting Avatar the Lost Airbender?

SPEAKER_03 39:11

Maybe. You know, I didn't think we would actually have an Avatar reference in this episode, and somehow we still managed to do it.

SPEAKER_01 39:19

I'm proud of us. While we're here, obligatory the Adventure Zone reference because Purple Worm. Anyway. That too, yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna I'm gonna like ask Griffin if I can put the purple worm song underneath this episode, because that's an underrated song on that soundtrack. Go listen to the Adventure Zone. Anyway. Also note that this is the first explicit mention of Purple Worms being blind. Yeah. It was never it it was stated previously that they felt vibrations, but it was never specifically stated that they were blind. Remember that. Uh-huh. Okay, yeah. So this is the first mention of them being blind, therefore having tremor sense and blind sense. They do have blind sense. Okay. Which is like, if I remember correctly, if I'm describing it correctly, blind sense is like um like uh feeling like air currents and shit. Um if I remember correctly.

SPEAKER_03 40:14

Um I cannot recall.

SPEAKER_01 40:17

Or just kind of like having a like a like a sense of of of a certain area surrounding you. Um using non-visual senses such as acute smell or hearing, a creature with blind sense notices things it cannot see. So it's like a a Matthew Murdoch, you know? Toffbefon. Well, t no, toff bayfong is a few. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 40:37

I was like, no, no, she straight has tremor sense. Yeah. Just like her fucking daughter.

SPEAKER_01 40:43

You know, so it's kind of they have a further range of tremor sense than blind sense, but they do have both. Okay. Um, so fifth edition, we're in fifth edition. Hello. Hello. Um, I don't know why I sounded so much more excited about third edition than fifth edition. Yeah, I don't either. That's it's whatever. They're both exciting. So fifth edition gives a little back and a little bit more to the worms. Oh, good. That fourth edition kind of left out. Um, they have their tail stingers back because fourth edition made no mention of them, though targets simply take poison damage. It's nothing crazy. No strength, no strength damage, no instant dying, just poison damage. Um, so God, I can barely read this sentence that I wrote seriously. Some mechanics of their swallowing have been changed. God, I don't know why that's so funny to me. Uh targets now make a dexterity save, as opposed to the worm having to make a check. Okay. Because prior it had always been like a grapple check, you know? Yeah. Um, and each time uh sorry, targets make a dexterity save each time they are bitten to avoid being swallowed. Um, targets who have been swallowed are blinded and restrained. And if a worm receives 30 damage in one turn from something within it, it must succeed on a DC twenty-one constitution save or regurgitate everything in its stomach. Huh. So it's a lot more which let me say, it's very hard to do 30 points of damage when you're blinded and restrained. Yes. Yes, which seems like an oversight.

SPEAKER_03 42:15

Or I I don't think it's an oversight.

SPEAKER_01 42:18

Maybe intentional. Yeah. Like, how can you do that much damage when you're restrained? I guess it would be like verbal component spells only.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

Right? That's all I can think of. But I'm just a barbarian, so if I was blinded and restrained, I'd be fucked. So, um Like you Lewin or you Dahlia? Uh Dahlia. I would just be I would already be dead if I were in that position. Um, and also note that it's it th you make it throw you up instead of cut your way out. Yeah. I don't know why I'm so interested in these. Or why I'm making a note like it's so interesting about oh, this time it throws you up instead of you cutting your way out of it. I don't know why I'm making a note like that's super interesting.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

I mean it kind of is, but it's mostly just disgusting.

SPEAKER_03 43:06

So being restrained doesn't actually limit you from making an attack at all. Okay, good. It just gives you disadvantage. Yeah, it just gives you disadvantage on attack rolls.

SPEAKER_01 43:17

Okay, well that still makes it hard to do 30 points of damage. But better. But better, yeah. So purple worms have a 30-foot range of blind sense and a 60-foot range of tremor sense and remained unaligned. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 43:30

So it's also good because they're worms that just eat. Yeah. They're they're just they don't have any agenda.

SPEAKER_04 43:36

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_03 43:37

They just are hungry.

SPEAKER_01 43:39

They're just vibing. So because they are a common problem in the Underdark, the Drau Duargar I don't know how that's pronounced. Uh it looks like uh my my brain rearranges it to Draugur. Like Draugur from Skyrim. It might be. D-U-E-R-G-A-R. Anyway, those guys. And the Ilithid. Doriger? I don't know. Anyway. And the Illithid uh civilizations all have special wards around their settlements to ward off purple worms because you know they're bad for the economy. The economy.

SPEAKER_03 44:21

They're just a little bad.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

Yeah. It would be hard to have a city and just like a purple worm, just like ch chillin'. Yeah. Uh so they can also be found topside in rocky mountainous areas. Okay. Which makes sense. Um they uh this is an interesting, interesting to me detail. Um they move by contracting and expanding their segmented bodies like real worms. That is pretty cool. Which I mean, like, I guess it's like that's like duh, that's how they would have to.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

But I guess it's like oh they paid attention to like how real worms work, and that's really neat.

SPEAKER_01 45:00

Yeah, instead of like snakes, I guess, because that's like a different anyway. I just thought that was interesting. Um, so they have a burrow speed of 30 feet and can burrow through solid rock at half that, leaving a 10-foot diameter tunnel in their wake. Um, they are described as breaking down and constantly excreting rock and earth, which to me sounds like they digest it.

SPEAKER_02 45:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 45:22

Because it's like so the specific phrasing of breaking down.

SPEAKER_02 45:25

Yeah, breaking down does read the context of digestion.

SPEAKER_01 45:31

Yeah, then let's just like they just throw it up. Um so additionally, the tunnels created by purple worms are usually used by people in the underdark because they they sort of end up creating this interconnected series of them. And also uh the worms rarely return to their old tunnels, which means they're actually usually pretty safe from purple worms. Oh, well, that's good. So now that we've gotten all that out of the way, we're gonna take a trip to Dragon Magazine in the ecology of the purple worm. Yeah. So this uh article was released in 2001 in Dragon Article 282. Sorry, I had that written in like my bibliography section, but not in the actual body of text. Uh so um note that like I decided to talk about this last because it's I think the most exciting part. But this was released in 2001, thus, some of the information contrasts with changes that were made in fourth and fifth edition.

SPEAKER_03 46:30

Okay. Um makes sense, I mean. So time works.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

Yeah, that's how time works. So this article was written by Jonathan M. Richards and illustrated by Dennis Kramer. And I make a note of who it was illustrated by because the illustrations in this article are fucking awesome. Oh man, I'll have to go look at that later. Yeah, go go go look at it. And also, like, this is another one of those ecology articles. Well, I think they're actually maybe all like this, but it's written like a story.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

Not all of them, at the time.

SPEAKER_01 46:58

Not all of them. Okay. But not all of them. But the best ones always are. Yeah, this one is written like a story of the um uh is it Monster Hunter Skilled? Uh yes. Drilix and Co. Um, it's written a story about them, and then the actual information is in like the you know, the hard information is in the margins. Um, and it's it's really good. Go read it. Then the illustrations are fucking awesome. Um, so this article gives a sample size for colossal purple worms. Oh boy. Uh, which are 10 feet in diameter and 150 feet long, and this was in third edition, so they're supposed to be like 80 feet long, uh, with 33 to 45 hit dice. So yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:41

Yep. Okay. Massive, massive creatures.

SPEAKER_01 47:44

Yeah. Um, so purple worms are made out of five distinct layers. The outermost layer is the mucus-covered skin. The next is a series of rings of muscle, which make up each individual segment.

SPEAKER_02 47:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 47:59

The next is a series of long muscles that connect each segment. The next is a hollow space called the coum that is filled with fluid that buffers the innermost layer, which is their digestive tract, and also where their brain is located. Um, so the coolum allows the worm to be constantly digesting food regardless of what the outermost layers of muscle are doing. So basically, their their digestive tract is always working because it has that fluid buffer so it can like be burrowing around at very rapid speeds and not disturb its digestive tract. Okay. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. So just like onions, worms have layers.

SPEAKER_03 48:39

Worms have layers.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

You heard it here first, folks. Um, the digester tract is described as simple, but able to extract all the nutrients the word the word uh needs from dirt and stone. Therefore, despite being very opportunistic and eager hunters, they don't go out of their way to eat living creatures because they technically don't need to. Okay. Why they do is a mystery, but they do. I mean, anything that's in the way.

SPEAKER_03 49:05

Maybe they just like the taste.

SPEAKER_01 49:06

I I guess. Um, so their outermost layer is covered in hairy bristles called set setae setae, uh, which help to grip and pull them along as they expand and contract their bodies. So they're hairy and mucusy.

SPEAKER_03 49:22

Well, aren't they isn't that just lovely? Not painting a pretty picture on that one. Oh, it's only gonna get worse. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 49:29

Um, so they breathe through the pores of their skin. Okay. And this requires that their skin remains wet with mucus, kind of like aboleths, uh, which is why you rarely find them above the surface, aka in the sun, which would dry them out. Um, and they can extract oxygen equally well well from air and water, so they can swim. Fuck you. So that's uh that's an explanation for why they live underground, is because it's like damp.

SPEAKER_03 49:57

So strange.

SPEAKER_01 49:59

And dank. Um so dank. Yeah. So uh this uh adds an opportunity uh for you to escape from their stomach in a slightly different way than cutting your way out. So targets may attempt to escape from the stomach by making two successful grapple checks to climb up to and then out of the mouth of the worm, which I gotta say feels more dangerous than just trying to get out the side.

SPEAKER_03 50:24

But also like more epic.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

I mean, I don't know. Cutting your way out of the side is pretty epic too.

SPEAKER_03 50:32

But how many people just crawl their way out of a worm?

SPEAKER_01 50:35

Not many, because the worm has a plus 32 to grapple, so it rarely succeeds. Oh well, that'll do her. That'll do her. And also their um their like weird musculature is why the hole is immediately closed up because they have like two layers of muscle. And that's all that's why, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 50:55

The muscle just kind of close closes back up layers and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:00

Yeah. Um, so according to this article, attempting to carve your way out of the gizzard can only be done with natural claws or a light piercing slash slash slashing weapon. Uh the previous description from the monster manual is considered errata as a result. So this kind of changed that. Okay. Because I mean, and that makes sense to me that it would be like harder.

SPEAKER_02 51:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:23

And I mean, and you can only carve your way out with something that's sharp. That makes sense. Yeah, you can't like hammer your way out of it. And it was not yet introduced that just doing enough damage would make it throw you up. So um, creature swallowed are considered grappled, uh, therefore you cannot use somatic components for spell casting, and any material components must have already been in hand. Oh. Uh, and casting any spell requires a concentration check with a DC of 20 plus the spell level plus the damage dealt to the caster by the purple worm on the turn of the casting of the spell. So fuck you.

SPEAKER_03 52:02

So casters are screwed. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:04

And in essence, screw you. What is humorously it states, quote, teleport has only a verbal component. So they're like, your best bet's to just teleport your way out.

SPEAKER_03 52:15

You better just teleport out.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

I mean, that's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_03 52:19

Now the question is, do you teleport back out to the fight or do you teleport back to fucking town?

SPEAKER_01 52:24

I teleport back to town because teleport has a bigger range. Teleport has a big enough range that I can do that. I'm like, sorry, guys. I got eaten. I'm done for the day. Oh god, what if you did that and then they like killed the worm? And tried to find you. And you weren't like in its guts, and they thought you'd already been dissolved. Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 52:44

And then you get back, they get back into town and you're like, hey guys.

unknown 52:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 52:49

I feel like I can still hear her voice. Would draw a weapon.

SPEAKER_02 52:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 52:56

Probably. I would be pretty pissed.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

That would be my guess anyway.

SPEAKER_01 53:01

Oh. So, um, this incarnation of the purple worm actually has eyes. Oh. So uh it's not it's not blind. Uh, there are four of them, all like directly forward-facing and placed equidistant around the head. So very predator setup.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:20

Uh they are lidless, but protected from rock and dirt by like these surrounding bony plates. So this incarnation of the purple worm has that less like flat lamprey looking mouth. Yeah. You know, kind of. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. I mean, objectively, I think the lamprey mouth is grosser, but because lampreys are gross. But um, you know, so it's kind of more of a series of jagged points around its mouth. Um, their eyes stay open at all times due to the lack of lids, but their vision is so poor, they are unlikely to even be awoken by visual stimuli. So they can see, but not very good.

SPEAKER_04 54:02

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

It's definitely not their main source of uh of of like sensory input. Yeah. Speaking of of sensory inputs, uh, purple worms have a keen tremor sense but are actually deaf. So they can't like hear. Yeah, like vibrations that travel through the air, they can't hear, but they have a very keen tremor sense, which I mean, like, sure. Okay. Yeah. All right. I'm I'm with it.

SPEAKER_03 54:30

I yeah, I mean, I really don't see why not at that point. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 54:34

Yeah. Um, purple worms have a prominent jaw spike at the bottom of their mouth area, um, that they first use to break out of their egg. Uh, it is not useful as a weapon because it's not very sharp, but is instead blunt and very strong and useful in burrowing.

SPEAKER_03 54:51

Okay. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I thought that we were gonna get into this weird, like the worm just raises up and like chin bashes you with the spike.

SPEAKER_01 54:58

Oh my god. I mean, it kind of could.

unknown 55:01

It could.

SPEAKER_01 55:02

Like it could just like fall on you. And kill you instantaneously. Like, it doesn't even need to like eat you. I used to think that about like onyx in Pokemon. Like the first time I saw an onyx, I was like, this has got to be the strongest thing ever. Because it could just like fall on any other Pokemon and just kill it. But Onyx is actually kind of bad. So like a purple worm could just kind of fall on you and you'd you'd be SOL.

SPEAKER_03 55:25

Yeah, I mean, it is big enough to just, you know, pin you down. Oh man, they never gave uh purple worms a like grind you against the ground as it's just like a bug.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

Ugh. Just like a worm. Hmm, hmm.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

Interesting. So they like to feast on shrieker fungus, which we talked about. What did we talk about that?

SPEAKER_03 55:48

Uh shambling mounds. Yeah. Because they shambling mounds like to eat the shriekers.

SPEAKER_01 55:53

Well, so do purple worms. Oh, though they cannot detect them by sound. Uh they instead like the smell, and purple worms actually have a decent sense of smell.

SPEAKER_03 56:03

Hmm. They like the smell.

SPEAKER_01 56:05

Yeah. So they often find their way back to their layers from the smell of their own mucus. That's gross.

SPEAKER_03 56:11

Okay, yeah, that's a little nasty.

SPEAKER_01 56:14

It's fine. Um, so when injured, purple worms emit a scent that tells other purple worms to stay away, which lingers for weeks, kind of like um ants. Ants do that, right? I'm pretty sure ants do that.

SPEAKER_03 56:26

I'm not sure on that one. That sounds right. I don't know ants.

SPEAKER_01 56:30

That sounds right. Um, so some societies in the underdark harvest the gland that produces this scent from immature purple worms and use it to keep uh purple worms away from their settlements. Oh nice. So this would be that it wasn't stated that this was how it is in fourth and fifth edition, but I would imagine that this is the measure that like the drow and the illicit and stuff use to keep purple worms away from their settlements.

SPEAKER_02 56:53

Yeah. That sounds right.

SPEAKER_03 56:55

I mean, yeah, it sounds like it would work just fine, honestly.

SPEAKER_01 56:59

Because that makes sense to me. Yeah. Just my my favorite thing is to take things from earlier editions that maybe had something more interesting that doesn't directly contradict later editions and just like Yeah, same.

SPEAKER_02 57:11

I actually went there.

SPEAKER_01 57:13

Yeah, that's what I love about these articles. It's because so many of them came out in like that third edition kind of time period.

SPEAKER_02 57:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 57:20

But, you know, if they have information that doesn't directly contradict later editions, then like I feel like you should be able to use it. I agree. Yeah. So mottled worms that we talked about earlier in Advanced Dungeons and Dragons do not actually truly exist. Uh, instead, they are simply purple worms that live in the water. Okay. Um, they take on a mottled appearance because the water washes away sections of their mucus coating. So they're essentially just purple worms that live in the ocean. Well, I say ocean, water. Um a particular note is that they can live very far out to sea in environments such as coral reefs or deep trenches, which I find very compelling. Uh uh try horrifying. Right. You're just like trenches are scary enough.

SPEAKER_02 58:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 58:07

And like you can already have the chance of running into any of the other weird, bizarre, huge underwater creatures. Why add that?

SPEAKER_01 58:17

Why not? Um, so as with uh regular earthworms, purple worms can regenerate lost segments.

SPEAKER_03 58:28

I mean, okay.

SPEAKER_01 58:29

Yep, provided that this severance happens in either the first five segments or the last twelve. It didn't actually state how many pr segments they particularly have. I would imagine it it might similar to worms. Yeah, and it maybe it depends on their age, too. I don't know. Maybe. But anyway, the the very first or the very the very first five or the very last twelve. Okay. Um, they still attack with whatever end they have left and will regenerate their lost segment in about a week. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 58:59

Uh yep.

SPEAKER_01 59:01

So losing their head does not impact their digestive tract as a whole or their brain, because their brain is worms. Well, it it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 59:11

That's their brain is worms. That was stupider than I intended it to be, but I'll say I like it though. Uh their brain is worms. Their brain is worms.

SPEAKER_01 59:20

Um, their brain is actually a nerve that runs down the whole length of their body, which I think real worms are like that too.

SPEAKER_02 59:26

Yeah, that that that's what I was trying to imply that they operate like worms, but I just said they're because they are worms. Yeah, I just said their brain is worms.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

I will have to say I didn't know that about actual worms.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

I think that's how it works. I'm pretty sure that's how it works.

SPEAKER_03 59:42

So when they regenerate segments, do they regenerate brain?

SPEAKER_01 59:46

Yes. I I think so, but it's like they didn't lose that much of it, so it's fine. I think.

SPEAKER_03 59:54

Interesting.

SPEAKER_01 59:54

I don't know. So, you know, and the their digestive tract spans the entire length of their body, so losing their head does not affect that so much. But a headless worm obviously cannot eat or burrow, so it won't die, but it typically curls up into a defensive posture simply to await regeneration because it can't go anywhere because it can't burrow. Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:18

It's just kind of there until until its head grows back.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:22

Or it dies. Yeah, or it dies. So um I've I've saved the best part of this article for last. Here we go. Here we go. Uh purple worms are all hemophroditic uh and possess both male and female sex organs. Okay. So That's not bad. Oh, just wait. So I I I said earlier that I do feel bad about pulling so many direct quotes, but I feel like this next segment was just written in such a way that requires it. If I if I tried to paraphrase it, we would lose something. So quote, the male organs are several segments in front of the female organs toward the front of the worm's body. This arrangement allows any two purple worms to breed. They line up their bodies in opposite directions and fertilize each other's internal eggs. During the mating process, the worms produce a great amount of the slimy mucus their bodies normally exude. This thick coating actually adheres the worms to each other while they mate. The entire process often takes several hours. Afterward, each crawls away to its own layer where it secretes its eggs wrapped in a mucus cocoon. Purple worms mate only once per year.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:34

I okay. No, it got worse.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:37

Yeah, you know we had to talk about how they fuck. But there's just so many choice words. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:46

Fertilize, mucus, so so adheres, secretes.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:52

Stop it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:55

No, you're grounded.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:56

Organs.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:57

You're a bad person.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

I'm so like I just there's so many, there were just so many choice words that to paraphrase it, I felt like we would lose something. So I just had to read that whole segment.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:08

I mean, unfortunately, I am inclined to agree with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:12

That doesn't mean I shouldn't I should have done it though, eh? Still not a fan.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

So if you ever wanted to know how purple worms mate, there you go. I mean, I didn't, but now you do. And I'm sure most of our listeners didn't, but now you do.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:27

And I'm sure you feel better for it. Hey, knowledge for knowledge's sake. That's the um that's the dogma of Sardior. And remember, we're all in the cult of Sardior now. So that means we have to talk about purple worm sex.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:39

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:40

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:41

I forgot about that. Is it too late to withdraw?

SPEAKER_01 1:02:44

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:46

You already you already paid too much money. You sunk too much money into this. So that's purple worms.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:55

I mean that that's something. That is something. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:58

I'm glad you saved that for the end. That's a good that's a good way to end that all on purple worm sex.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:05

Instead of 69, it's just like 11. Oh my god. Or it's like two parentheses. It's like it's like two uh purple sexes.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:13

Oh my god. You're I'm doing a hand gesture. She's doing a lot of hand gestures. If she were if you were in public high school, you'd be suspended.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:23

They wouldn't even know what I'm trying to do, but they would be like, you shouldn't be doing that anyway.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:28

Like that's a gang sign.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:29

That yeah. Purple worm purple worm gang. So that's purple worms.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:35

Right. Well, I don't think we're gonna get any better than that.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:38

Yeah, you would say it was quite a climax.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:43

Get out of my house.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:45

Okay, bye guys.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:46

Taylor and Travis are gonna do the outro by themselves. Thank you, everyone, so much for listening. And I'm sorry. And uh don't worry, we all face Palm 2.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:57

I didn't.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:58

I'm having a great time. Don't forget to follow us on our various social media platforms if you want to after this.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:08

Come find us on Pornhub. We're gonna post uh Purple Worm Sex today. No, we're not. No. We don't have a Pornhub account.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:14

Uh if you want to send in a request or specifically send in a request for Lou and to stop, uh feel free to email us uh your topics and your angry emails at dungeonpedia.podcast at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:31

If you wish to torture any of your friends with this information, please share it with them. I'm sure they all would love to know about this lovely, lovely uh worm sex information.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:45

If we if we had to hear it, so do your friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:47

Yeah, and if you had to hear it, so do your friends.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:50

Just follow that and everyone will be happy.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:52

Hey, you know, they say a a burden shared is a burden have, then joy shared is joy doubled. So if you got joy out of this, then maybe your friends will too.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:00

And then of course you'll get joy joy from torturing them if they don't like it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:03

So see, it's a win-win for you and for us.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:07

So thank you once again for listening. And uh, we'll catch you next week with something that's hopefully a little less gross on Dungeon Pedia.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:17

Probably not, though, it is us.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:19

Yeah. Well, no, it'll be a little less gross. I mean, I don't think it was that bad. It it wasn't until the 11 part.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:30

I don't think it's an eleven, I think it's a parenthetical.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:34

You're all just none of you are free as then.