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Join Llewyn, Taylor, and Travis, a trio of nerdy adults, as they spend way too much time and energy on exploring the lore of Dungeons and Dragons. Listen and laugh with them as they are way too excited about DnD for adults and that's okay!
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80: Snail of a Tale
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In this requested episode, Llewyn takes a look at the ponderous flail snail, who has a lot of interesting information jam-packed into a relatively short publication history.
You the adventurer. Yes, you. Do you desire knowledge of immense worlds and arcane power? A codex of untold stories and lore? Or perhaps simply easy listening for your daily commute. Then feast your eyes, or more accurately, yes, upon Dungeon Pedia. Shit's about to get nerdy in here.
SPEAKER_02And I'm Travis Peasley. And um just a warning uh from the top of this episode. Oh, right off the bat, huh? Yeah, right off the bat.
SPEAKER_04We It's always good when we get a warning just right from the warning.
SPEAKER_02So, um, this episode was very kindly uh requested by Anthony Toteta, Tito Toteda. Tito Toteda on Twitter and Ari Foxkit also on Twitter. Um we're talking about flail snails. And the apot the the warning is that I am going to mess up saying that.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Probably. And we probably will too, actually. Because flail snail is a very hard phrase to say.
SPEAKER_02And you know what? Every time I say it, it feels wrong.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Even if I say it right, it feels wrong. What about the flail snail flails? Travis, I swear to God. And I thought maybe that I was like, okay, maybe I'll do a I'll I'll like so for the sake of making this easier on myself, I'm gonna just say snails. And then I was like, no, that's fucking quitter behavior. Oh god. So I'm just quitter talk. That's quitter talk. I'm just I'm just warning you guys from the top that like, and I'm also warning editing Lewin that like I'm gonna mess up saying that so many times. No because I can't talk. And well then you guys can't sometimes can't talk either.
SPEAKER_04Sometimes if you listen to last week's outbreak, you will definitely know this is gonna this whole that's gonna be this whole episode. Oh no. It's just gonna be me being completely unable to say. So uh thank you, Anthony and Ari, for giving us such a fun topic to say. I don't know anything about it.
SPEAKER_02And by fun I mean I mean bad.
SPEAKER_04But saying it already is bad. Yeah, bad.
SPEAKER_02It hurts a little bit. I'm not gonna lie. Yes. I keep wanting to say snail flail. I don't know why.
SPEAKER_04So what the hell is a flail snail?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That that's it feels like sep one.
SPEAKER_02Like I'm sure it's a giant snail, but I mean that depends on your definition of giant. Um so they're technically only large most of the time. So, um, flail snails are creatures that originated first in the fiendfolio in 1981.
SPEAKER_05Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, they are described as silicon-based mollusks, which like life on earth is carbon-based. So I don't know what that means. I was like, they just said silicon-based and then just kind of left it without further explaining what that means.
SPEAKER_03What? Hmm.
SPEAKER_02All I know is like silicon like computer, like for computer, you know what I mean? Yeah. Which is not the vibe here. But anyway, they're a silicon-based life form. Okay. Okay. They're a silicon-based mollusk, which mollusks are typically carbon-based life forms, whatever. Um, and they average eight feet high at the crown of their shell. Because you know they got the kind of yeah, yeah, yeah. They got round Oh. Yes.
SPEAKER_04Um, so silicon is a hard, brittle, crystalline solid with blue-gray metallic luster. It's a metal.
SPEAKER_02So they're more just life forms?
SPEAKER_04It's an element, a chemical element, but I mean, yeah, but that's not that's not the vibe.
SPEAKER_02They're not um it's a kind of a misleading uh I think they were just like they had a periodic table up on the wall and they just threw a dart at it and they're like silicon. Yeah, they're like silicon-based.
SPEAKER_04Which would be SI. Yes. Apparently. And it's a tall number is 14.
SPEAKER_01Are you having fun with this?
SPEAKER_04Kind of. Okay.
SPEAKER_01All right.
SPEAKER_02Welcome to our segment, periodic table with Travis. So they are about eight feet tall at the crown of their shell because they have kind of these like circular. They in in some ways they look like a they're shaped like a very traditional snail.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02So they got the rounded, um, spiraling shell, and you know, the soft, s like elongated, slug-like body. However, um, they depart a little bit from a traditional earth snail appearance, um, because they have four to six, I believe a later edition says a most commonly five, club tentacles that project from their head. They're basically pseudopods that okay.
SPEAKER_04Now I gotta look up a picture of these things. Hence flail. What the hell? Okay, so I'm immediately noticing one thing, other than the giant fucking flail tentacles.
SPEAKER_02Step one. Where are its eyes? Don't worry about it. We'll talk about that later. Oh, okay. So hence hence flail. Um, so they're basically like these pseudopods that grow out of their head and they flail around, if you can imagine. Yeah. And it hits things with them, yes.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I was gonna say, I'm gonna guess it uses those for combat.
SPEAKER_02Yes. So the sort of the the stats of the flail snail from the beginning are given a they function a little bit differently than stats for other creatures. Um, and uh there's no better way to say it than to just explain what precisely it means. So basically, every f like of these tentacles has its own individual hit die.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02So they represent each tentacle represents one hit die. Therefore, a snail with five tentacles has five hit die. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay, that I mean, I I can follow that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Not only does the each tentacle have its own hit die, they also have their own hit points. And if you you know individually reduce the hit points of one of the tentacles to zero, it ceases to function. So it's essentially, I think um, maybe maybe a later edition said that the implication is that it was cut off, basically. Right.
SPEAKER_04So you're basically just attacking the individual flail.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And that then reduces its hit die. Right. It the s the snail's overall hit dice by like the one you cut off, you reduce its hit by hit dice by one.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02So after all the tentacles have been killed. Um yeah? Yeah, no, this is there's some it does die. There's some doozies in this episode. Um, it does die. It says that the snail withdraws the rest of its body um into its shell, and it dies, yes, in one to three turns. During which time it utters pitiful wailing cries, which have a 50% chance per turn of attracting a wandering monster. Oh my god. So it screams before it dies.
SPEAKER_04I immediately feel so bad for it now, though.
SPEAKER_02I I do too.
SPEAKER_04Just this little monster for one to three turns, just wailing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because it's dying, yeah. Also, um, flail snails are neutral in alignment and are also described as basically being pretty passive, unless this this this changes somewhat, but you know, they're described as being pretty passive. Like they don't chase things. Yeah. I I feel so bad.
SPEAKER_04I also feel so bad. Like Yeah. Just like the why not? I mean, why would you like attempt to get though?
SPEAKER_02Uh well we'll get into why.
SPEAKER_04It's generally just passive, like we'll get into why.
SPEAKER_02There's a lot of interesting things about these creatures.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_02So, you know, this is kind of the accepted easier way to kill one of these things is to chop off all the pseudopods and then just let it scream scream itself to death. Um, but the creature's body also has its own individual hit points, but it is very adept at withdrawing quickly. Like it moves slowly, but in combat, it's so adept at withdrawing into its body, into its shell very quickly that the body has an AC of negative eight.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Whoa. Which is really very good, very, very good.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's like even if you hit it, it's gonna do no damage.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's that's better than like a lot of very, very high, high uh challenge like gods. Like that's better than godly avatars that I've seen.
SPEAKER_01I can't remember the what the Trask's AC is, but it was Negative three. Okay. Why do I remember that?
SPEAKER_02I don't know. Right off hand. Anyway, um, it says that reducing the body's hit points will kill the creature, even if some of the tentacles survive. Which I think is also it may may be the way to kill it and not have to listen to a cry. So Okay. There you go. So if you want to take the humane about it. Well, if you want to be humane about it, don't kill it, but you know.
SPEAKER_04I mean, yeah, but if you're gonna kill it, I guess you could go that way. It's just gonna take a lot more than a few more than a few more than that.
SPEAKER_02It's gonna be very hard. Yeah. So um the flail snail is immune to fire and poison. This is both magical and non-magical fire.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, but is hypersensitive to light and therefore is always encountered either at nighttime or underground.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02They do not like the sun. Bright lights.
SPEAKER_04I mean either. I don't know much about snails, like actual snails, but a creature of this sort that apparently has no eyes, I can kind of understand that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Seems like it was probably mostly lived its life underground.
SPEAKER_02I feel like real snails are like that too. I can't recall but I think it's a I think it's like a drying thing. Like it they like wet environments. That sounds right. Perhaps. And maybe it's like the darker it is, kind of the more the more dank it is, the better it is for snails. I think. I've read Udzumaki. I should know more about snails. Anyway, so now we're getting into the reason why like what makes well not what makes, but one of the things that makes flail snails very special, and also the reason why people would want to kill them. I've been wanting to know this. And that is their shells.
SPEAKER_03Oh.
SPEAKER_02So flail snail shells, fuck, uh, come in a wide variety, like it changes quite a bit over from edition to edition, but they're very brightly colored, like beautiful, swirling patterns. Right. You know, very beautiful to look at. Um, they also offer the flail snail partial protection against magic. Um, and this acts as a type of as an uh piece of armor called a robe of scintillating colors. And the effect is as follows. Um, whenever flail snail is attacked by magic, the effects are variable. Um, which it didn't say that you specifically rolled this against a percentage die back in the day, or if the effect was maybe if you would determine it some other way, but it's given in percentages. So 40% chance of the spell malfunctioning and the malfunction is up to DM discretion. DM discretion, basically. And that typically the kind of idea that they had for it was that it was like a very minor alteration, maybe altering the radius of the spell or something like that. Okay. So nothing crazy. It's not like you try to hit it with a fire spell and then it turns into a chicken. Um, that's not the that's not the idea. Um, 40% chance of the spell malfunctioning, 30% chance of it functioning normally, 20% chance of it failing to work at all, and 10% chance of it being reflected onto the person casting it.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god. Damn.
SPEAKER_02Which is like the I think the one in six of the or maybe five out of six of the um Tarask's hide, because it had the magic bounce. Right.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, yeah, okay. I mean, I would see that as probably just rolling on a percentage dice, but yeah, it didn't explicitly say that though, so Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, because because in in later editions, when you roll against a D100, it's like, you know, one through forty or whatever. But anyway. So the reason that people want these shells is because after the snail dies, it maintains these properties for one to six months after the occupant's death.
SPEAKER_01Okay. I I can understand why you would want that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, I mean, but it's only a temporary thing.
SPEAKER_01I mean, one to six months.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, like still a good while. And I suppose if you can find a way to put it in a stasis of some sort.
SPEAKER_01That too. I was gonna say if you if you know you're going up against something like crazy powerful too.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, then you would get that just for like that one fight and then Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Also, um, you can I don't think it was it was expanded upon in this first entry, but you can make stuff with it too that carries that effect. Oh very versatile. Um and it said the shell weighs 250 pounds and can be sold for as much as 5,000 gold pieces. Jesus. So you you can get a pretty penny from these, which it's even you know, even maybe thinking like, well, how how good is that actually if it might not last that long? It's like if the market's already built itself up and you can make 5,000 GP a pop sell in these. It doesn't matter. It kind of doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, you know, and plus like rich people are weird. Rich people are weird.
SPEAKER_01Rich people are weird.
SPEAKER_04See, my thing is now thinking, at least as far as like from a DM perspective, which would you want to go with if you were going to introduce something like that in your game? Are you gonna introduce it as poachers or like a hunter's guild of sorts?
SPEAKER_01Poachers.
SPEAKER_04Poachers.
SPEAKER_01Because I'm very upset uh about the way that these guys die.
SPEAKER_04I am also very upset about the way they die, and I would definitely go with poachers as well. Yeah. Because it's so sad.
SPEAKER_02I mean, and it's not like they're just like weak. They're not like they're not weak, like easy, easy targets, mayhaps, but but that does also throw them into the possible category of just hunters getting.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I guess. So my I mean, to be fair, there's a lot of real life animals that aren't weak, easy targets, but they still get poached.
SPEAKER_04That is true, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, it honestly, like, or completely stepping back out of the fantasy element, it would honestly just depend on like how numerous of a like populace they are. Very rare. Very rare, very rare. Yes. So, yes, poachers. Poachers.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, poachers, absolutely. Or chefs who want to make like really exotic escargots. Which is still poaching. I wanted to make a joke about escargot. I'm sorry.
SPEAKER_04Or it's just like Genji Ito looking for some inspiration. Like five to ten shields out of one of their shells.
SPEAKER_02We'll tell I'll tell you how many shields you can make out of them later. Oh. Uh, two. The answer is two. Oh. Yeah. Really?
SPEAKER_04Uh they're so big.
SPEAKER_01I'm guessing not a lot of the shell is usable.
SPEAKER_04Well, you'll explain that later then.
SPEAKER_02It's fine. So next we are going to move into, I think it's the first time I've ever talked about this one. Um, well, this particular book, but the Monstrous Compendium Greyhawk Adventures Appendix, which was released in 1990. We've talked about Greyhawk a lot, obviously. Right. But um also this might have been, I think it I didn't include this when I wrote in the title. It might be called like Monstrous Compendium 5. Greyhawk Adventures Appendix? Something like that. There's a lot of them. Right.
SPEAKER_04Anyway, it's a weird one.
SPEAKER_02This this one was released in 1990, whatever. So, um, flail snails are again described as silicon-based. They're not described as gastropods, which is different.
SPEAKER_04Silicon-based gastropods.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Um, and it says they are distantly related to ordinary garden snails. Oh my god. Which I okay, I didn't I glossed over this when I was like reading, but I'm I'm assuming that ordinary garden snails, even in uh O Earth, are carbon-based.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So how are they distantly related to something that's made out of a completely different magic?
SPEAKER_01Magic.
SPEAKER_02Magic.
SPEAKER_01You were too busy asking how you could do this. You never stop to ask if you should do it.
SPEAKER_02Which I mean, flail snails are pretty cool. You can make flail snails.
SPEAKER_04We also kind of fell into that same conundrum with the mimics, too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Like why? Just why? Why though? So um their uh because I mean there was art of them, obviously, but their uh tentacles are described in more detail, which you know is something I'm always interested in. Um they're described as they're you know like these pseudopods that end in a 10 to 10 pound, excuse me, mass of hardened flesh covered with knobs. Oh my.
SPEAKER_04So it is literally like a club. Yes, a club on the end of this tentacle. Ooh.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
unknownOh.
SPEAKER_04Ooh.
SPEAKER_02Hardened flesh, guys.
SPEAKER_04Covered with knobs. Yes. Oh god. You are welcome.
SPEAKER_02I don't like it. So you were asking earlier about their eyes. Um, short sensor tentacles grow from either side of their head. Uh, these sensors detect motion up to 20 feet away. So that's essentially their eyes.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Damn, they have a very short sight.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Mm-hmm. They do. And it's worth noting later, this was uh implemented later, but essentially they can't see at all outside of that 20-foot radius. It's not even like a out of penalty or whatever.
SPEAKER_04They just have no sight past it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. They have a very, very small field of vision. And they're in gray hawk, their flesh is described as rubbery and like a gray-blue color. So they have these very vibrantly colored shells, but their bodies are kind of a little more mottled. Yeah, a little like kind of kind of dingy, you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh god, you guys are about to feel bad again. Uh flail snails are described uh described described as living peaceful lives crawling up and down dungeon and cavern corridors. Uh nor they are normally quiet, but aggressively defend themselves from basically anything that comes within their 20-foot sensory range.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I would too if I couldn't see past 20 feet. These poor little creatures.
SPEAKER_02They're just crawling around caves like vibing, just vibing.
SPEAKER_04Big creatures, I guess.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04These poor big creatures.
SPEAKER_02Um, in Greyhawk, we finally learn what they eat. They eat uh lichen and algae that grows on the floors and you know ceilings of various like dungeons and caverns and stuff like that.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and it says that the way they eat is that glands in their mouth secrete a substance that loosens the plants and they then scrape up the loosened bits.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02Which I um in hindsight, this substance might just be saliva. I really don't know. But they referred to it as a substance.
SPEAKER_04I mean substance, saliva, either way. It doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_02It's fine. So, um I don't know why this next point gets me so bad. Um, females give live birth to 1d3 young. What is wrong with that sentence?
SPEAKER_01Females give live birth. Why do they give live birth? They're snails! They they have no reason. I mean, do regular snails give live birth?
SPEAKER_04No! Have you not seen that video of no okay again? I don't know hardly anything about snails. They lay eggs. Okay. Now you know that. Snails are not something that I generally look into on a daily basis.
SPEAKER_01No, that's fair.
SPEAKER_02But um, speak for yourself.
SPEAKER_04These ones give live birth. Apparently. Maybe it has to do with the fact that they're not carbon-based.
SPEAKER_02That just I don't know, but like I literally read that and I was like, live birth, the one day through young, okay, okay. The era wait, live birth? Wait, what? Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_04That one's um that one's a little odd, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so according to Google, there are some species of snails that are indeed viviparous. So I stand corrected. Oh. Um, don't like that. Moving on. Um Okay. Huh. I I don't know. I don't know why I don't like that, but I don't. Anyway, um, these 1D3 young remain with the mother for two years, uh, which is a you know quite a while, I feel like, for animals that in the real world are not known for being really parents. Yeah. They just kind of To set it and forget it, and then the baby snails just kind of figure out their own way. But um the babies remain with the mother for two years until their tentacle knobs reach reach a weight of around five pounds, which is half the weight. Which is half the weight of an adult one, but you know. I wouldn't want to be hit with a five-pound lump of hardened flesh. I would not want to either. It would hurt. Yeah, it would still suck. Um, it says that flail snails mature at the age of four and live up to 20 years. And I believe that this is the only point from here going forward where their age is or where their age, where their lifespan is actually mentioned.
SPEAKER_04So not a very long lifespan.
SPEAKER_02No. So that either means that they were just like, I guess this is fine, but they also don't mention it later, I don't believe. So whatever. So they're the life of their shell's magical powers after their death has been changed from one two six months to one d6 months, which I mean, you know, basically the same, just you know, you you roll for it deciding it. Yeah. Um, and it said that after this point, they become statistically the same as a non-magical plus two shield. So, like it's still a shield, but you know, it's not a magic bouncing shield.
SPEAKER_04Right. It's just a plus two, which is still pretty good.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So this introduced a variant because this was like, this wasn't the flail snail heading, this was the snail heading. And so then flail snail was a subset of that. I just realized I think I've said it correctly every single time.
SPEAKER_01I'm really proud of you, but now you're not going to.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you've done good. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's gonna it's gonna come back to bite you.
SPEAKER_02I just want you guys to know, in the like, I was not putting one on earlier. I thought I was really gonna struggle through speaking, but I'm I'm doing okay, I guess. So it was like you had flail snails and then you had sea snails. Oh, okay. So uh these quote, behemoths of the deep, unquote, uh measure up to 20 feet in length. Oh god. It's a big boy. That's a very big boy. And it says they are a variety of giant conch. So instead of a relative of a garden snail, they are a relative of a conch. Okay. The sea snails, obviously, live in the seas and the oceans.
SPEAKER_04Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. What? Does that mean that they have a magic conch shell?
SPEAKER_01I'm done. I'm done.
SPEAKER_04That's pretty good. Nailed it. That's pretty good. Nailed it. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Okay, now I'm done. Yes. Now I'm done.
SPEAKER_04I hate my friends. Perfect. Thank you. Anyway, continue.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Deep press. Oh, you want to know the worst part about that, about your joke, Travis, is that their shells vary in color from bright red to white with a pink interior, pink like the Magic Conch shell. So I'm just imagining one of these that looks exactly like the Magic Conch. Oh, that's so good. Oh, oh, so uh sea snails are often tamed by Tritons, which is fucking cool. And a little terrifying. A little bit. And instead of the instead of flails, uh sea snails release a neurotoxin into the water if they are threatened. Um and withdraw into their shell. I mean, yeah, that's like normal.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it just it still caught me off guard.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and just you know, being in the sea and just have this poison all around you, like Yeah.
SPEAKER_02It's not a fun time. And then after this happens, um the retreated sea snail will start to wail, after which a bunch of Tritons will come and like, you know. Wreck shit. Yeah, wreck shit.
SPEAKER_04Um, what does the like neurotoxin do? Like, is it just a straight like paralysis? Yeah, it's a paralysis.
SPEAKER_02It's a it is a paralysis.
SPEAKER_04Like you you would think neurotoxin, but you never know with dandy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. No, it's just um it's just a neurotoxin with a um minus three imposed on the save against poison.
SPEAKER_04I would also not want to be paralyzed underwater. No, thank you.
SPEAKER_02No, especially because uh it paralyzes for 1d6 hours. Holy shit. AKA, even if there were no Tritons in the vicinity, you would just fucking drown.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Unless you were a water breathing type person. Uh and you you're killing Travis, by the way.
SPEAKER_04Yep, that mm-mm.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm so good, man.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah. I forget. Travis doesn't like the ocean. Nope.
SPEAKER_03Nope, nope, nope, nope.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So, and that I believe was the only I didn't I hate to sound like this, but I didn't look especially hard for any more about the sea snails because it's kind of like I mean it's a subset. It was like a subset, so I don't know if maybe they were in a later edition under the entry sea snail as opposed to snail flail sea. Right. I did that in a little triangle you guys couldn't see, but you know. Um, because it was a subheading thing. But I didn't go hunting for sea snails. Um, but this seems like this is kind of the only time they're ever mentioned, at least directly alongside flail snails. Right. So, um, this is also the last time that flail snails are mentioned that I could find. And I scoured like all the monster manuals, all fucking 40 of them that came out in third edition, um, and any other place that I would think that they would be, um, like any supplements that I feel like flail snails vibed with. And I could not find them um until 2009. Oh. Whoa, why is that's quite the long gap.
SPEAKER_04Why was there such an absence of flail snails?
SPEAKER_02They were hibernating, I guess.
SPEAKER_04That's kind of weird. Third shift or third shift? Oh wow. That's you know, what we work. My bad. Um third edition kept and added a lot. A lot.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, like I I could not, yeah.
SPEAKER_04So there are like what three monster manuals just for like third edition?
SPEAKER_01Something like that.
SPEAKER_04Like just for that one, not including the extras they did for like 3.5 and 600.
SPEAKER_02Like all the uh the errata and shit. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04God.
SPEAKER_02So before we talk about because we're we all know 2009 was fourth edition era. Uh yeah. Um, I think before we catch back up with our snap Fuck.
SPEAKER_04There it goes. There we go. You jinxed yourself.
SPEAKER_02Damn it. Before we catch up with our flail snail buddies, we're gonna take a quick break.
SPEAKER_04But not a 19-year one.
SPEAKER_02No. No, no, not quite that long. Just like 18 years. See you guys in 2040. Hey everybody, thank you for checking out this snail tail.
SPEAKER_01It's not it's it's not quite going on a snail's pace, though.
SPEAKER_02I feel like we're uh No, it's it's it's taking longer than I thought it was going to.
SPEAKER_01Okay, but a snail's pace implies that it's like boring and slow.
SPEAKER_02Okay. So hopefully we're not that. Well, you know what's not boring.
SPEAKER_01What's not boring?
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SPEAKER_04We have done did given away.
SPEAKER_02And that we gave them their dice.
SPEAKER_01Maybe personally purchased a few ourselves.
SPEAKER_02Yes. Perhaps. These dice are as beautiful, if not more so, as a foil snail shell. And if you find any that catch your eye, you can use code Dungeonpedia for 10% off your entire order at metallicdice games.com. Woo, ooh.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And of course, if you would still like to support us directly, we have our Patreon, which is just Dungeonpedia. And there you can catch Lewin's really tiny bibliography.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because there the publication history of these guys is not super long, yet this episode is pretty long.
SPEAKER_01It it there's a lot of information packed in there.
SPEAKER_02Yes, there's a lot packed into their little slimy bodies. Which aren't really little. Because they're eight feet tall.
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SPEAKER_04Yeah.
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SPEAKER_02Or, you know, just like write it in the sky. We'll see it. Text me. My number and no.
SPEAKER_01J just it, you know what? If you guess the one's number, we'll jute your ass.
SPEAKER_02Honestly, yeah. Like, no, no questions asked, not even like, oh yeah, we'll put that on the like I will start researching it right then.
SPEAKER_04We will give you no hints.
SPEAKER_02Just text me. Don't call me. Please don't call me.
SPEAKER_04Uh don't forget to subscribe to us wherever you listen to our lovely, lovely episodes to get notifications when we do post new episodes. Um, if those platforms do happen to have the ability, go ahead and rate us, leave a review. That would be great and help us out a lot. But also just spread the word. Continue telling your friends and your co-workers about us. Spread the word, like flail snails, spread their mucus trails.
SPEAKER_02Ew. Okay, maybe a little quicker than that, because you know, your friends are probably busy.
SPEAKER_04But really, at your own pace is fine too, though.
SPEAKER_01You know what else is fine? Our theme song, which is by Alexander Nakarada, and it's amazing. Thank you so much, Alexander.
SPEAKER_04Thank you, Alexander. Thank you, Alexander. It's amazing and we love it. And uh with that, let's go ahead and get back to the flail snail trail. The tails. The tails of the flail snail.
SPEAKER_02Of the trails of the flail snails.
SPEAKER_01There are other words that rhyme.
SPEAKER_04We're just making it.
SPEAKER_01We just don't know what any of them are.
SPEAKER_02So I kinda lied. Um they they didn't necessarily there wasn't it wasn't necessarily that there was no publication about them in that time period. I can't hold the surprise anymore. We have an ecology article.
SPEAKER_05Yes.
SPEAKER_02Oh. That that comes in this 19-year gap. Um, and I'm going to be talking about it last because like I mean, they're the best part.
SPEAKER_01If you're if you've been following us for any amount of time and you've heard like uh us talk about the ecology articles, you know that they're the best part of any episode. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So there well, there is actually a publication in this in between this period of time. But we're gonna talk about it last because like I said, they're always the best part. That's theology articles.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's okay.
SPEAKER_02For now, we're going to jump to 2009, and this is actually from an article, or not an article, pardon me, um, an adventure that was posted on the Wizards of the Coast website. Oh.
SPEAKER_04Interesting. I just want to like they're free, they're free little.
SPEAKER_02There's a bunch of these, like, uh, from this kind of era that are just like these free, like, I think the PDF was like 20, 30 pages long.
SPEAKER_04Just short little adventures to just run through.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And this one is called Fool's Grove, which I believe this is actually in a part of like a longer story that has to do with this really roguish gnome character. But that's a story for another day.
SPEAKER_04Um No, no, no. You mentioned Gnome.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you you got Travis interested.
SPEAKER_04Wait, hold on. Travis has entered the chat.
SPEAKER_02That's my joke. So, okay. This is mostly the section I was trying to warn everybody about. Oh no. Um this adventure features a stale trail flail snail.
SPEAKER_04Oh no. It's literally called a stale trail flail snail. Why did they do that?
SPEAKER_02Because they fucking did it on purpose. That's why. They knew exactly what they were doing. Which it's it is an unaligned creature, which I don't have any gripes with it being unaligned, because it was it's been it's a creature. It's it's a creature. Um what the I think this is an award of an intelligence of one. I think that is the I think that is the lowest intelligence score we've ever talked about. Because we've talked about some low ones. The Tarask has an intelligence of three. Oh no.
SPEAKER_04It is leaps and bounds ahead of this thing. I think you're right. I think that is the lowest intelligence score.
SPEAKER_01Congratulations to this Say it.
SPEAKER_02You say it, Taylor. The flail snail. No. Fuck. Say it with me, kids. Stale trail flail flail snail.
SPEAKER_04The stale trail flail snail. Yes. Wow.
SPEAKER_01And that, ladies and gentlemen, is our dumbest creature of dungeons and dragons.
SPEAKER_02To date.
SPEAKER_01To date. Our dumbest dungeon pedia.
SPEAKER_02No, it's not our dumbest dungeon pedia. That was last week's Edbring. Um it has an AC of 15, or fuck, 18. I'm becoming dumber by the second. An AC of 18 that becomes 14 uh when it is bloodied, because you know 4th edition loves the um bloodied statuses. Right. This one is called the flail snail fail. I'm not kidding. That's actually No! I made a dumb joke about that. Yeah. And I had to hold it in because I knew this was coming.
SPEAKER_04A flail snail fail.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. So in fourth edition tradition, um, it takes away a lot of what makes the creature interesting, namely the shell's um magic resistance. Not resistance, but you know, the magic bounce effect.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, so the shell offers only a simple melee resistance. Um and, you know, it's got some dumb it hits things, it's tanacles. Um, but it also has a close burst ability called Foil Snail Whale.
SPEAKER_01Like, if nothing else. Fourth edition did nothing else. They were having they were the person who wrote this was having a good time. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yep, they were going with everything having to do with this thing and its weird ass name.
SPEAKER_02What's it what's it called when it's like alliteration, but it's the back half? Is that anaphora? Uh I think so. I think it's anaphora.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, do not ask me. I have no clue.
SPEAKER_02English matrix don't come for me. But like, they just They just went nuts. They went all in on the anaphora. And so that's the uh stealth. Try it. One login. Stail.
SPEAKER_04I believe in you. Good.
SPEAKER_02That makes one a puns.
SPEAKER_04You've got this.
SPEAKER_02The stale trail flail snail. It's easy.
SPEAKER_04It's flail snail fail and it's flail snail whale. Yes. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Um, so I guess because No, don't ask me any more questions.
SPEAKER_04No, I just I'm just curious. I guess because it's I'm not taking any questions. Shells are not like magical or whatever anymore. They just do nothing other than look.
SPEAKER_02I I believe, yeah, I believe there was like this is literally a stat block. This is literally all from a stat block. So I believe gone, yes, is the the value, the the the GP value of the shell and all that kind of stuff. Which is a shame, but like these names these names kind of make up for it. Like, I'll allow it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, no, like that's fair.
SPEAKER_02Like, I won't. I think it's shit still, but like I'll allow it. Like, that was some intern who was like, oh, but in in you know, the and like the flail snail, it shell is supposed to like repel Matt, and it's like, no, Jeremy, shut up. Just write the names of the abilities. And so Jeremy decided to have a good time.
SPEAKER_01I'm proud of Jeremy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, Jeremy got a job with Wizards of the Coast, by the way. Good job, Jeremy. Welcome back.
SPEAKER_01I'm still dying.
SPEAKER_02Like, are you gonna start screaming in a minute? Because please don't. No. Like a flail snail? No, ha ha.
SPEAKER_04I was gonna say you might attract the neighbors.
SPEAKER_02I don't want to do that. Oh, so next we're gonna move into fifth edition. Um, we're not usually in fifth edition this fast. No, it's weird. I'm glad there's an ecology article for us. So the flail snail is mentioned in both Volo's Guide to Monsters, which was released in 2016, and Tomb of Annihilation, which was released in 2017. For the most part, the information is consistent between the two of these, so I'm gonna be kind of picking from each of them. Um so uh flail snail is uh a creature of elemental earth, because you know, 5th edition loves ascribing elemental val like, not value, but you know what I mean. Yeah. They're big on the the elements and the elemental conflicts.
SPEAKER_04And not to sound like the typical, like, you know, because 5th edition is pretty much what it the I am like used to and everything, but it does at least make up for the fact that they are some sort of other base creature that's not carbon. It at least explains that.
SPEAKER_02Oh yeah, you're right. I mean, they're not described as silicon-based in this, but no, at this point they would be elemental earth. Did fifth addiction? Fifth addiction? That's what we have. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Did fifth edition fix the whale snail?
SPEAKER_02Good job! Thank you. Um yes, so um, and and the only reason I was salty about the elemental thing is because I feel like it did a disservice to the Arachokra, but whatever. So, you know, again, back is the the emphasis on the shell and the value of the shell. Right. Um they are you described more or less like undisturbed as moving slowly, ponderously around, um, consuming everything on the surface, including rocks, sand, and soil. And I don't I don't I don't know what case they're what definition they're using of this word. Uh, but says, quote, stopping to relish crystal growths and other large mineral deposits. I don't know if they mean relish in like an eating sense or just in an appreciation sense.
SPEAKER_01Because if it's why not both.
SPEAKER_02If it's an appreciation sense, like same. Also, honestly, in an eating sense, because like I want to eat some of those rocks.
SPEAKER_04Don't eat rocks.
SPEAKER_02Don't eat rocks, especially rocks that are toxic, like malachite. Don't eat malachite. Um, don't put malachite in your mouth, don't put malachite in your water. Don't do it, kids. Um, so I guess they like crystals, which like same.
SPEAKER_04I mean, that is really cool though. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I don't know if that's the case, like the the the the vibe, the definition of the word relish they were using. So this is what they do if left undisturbed. But, you know, I mean, it's a slow-moving, like, snail creature. So, uh, it says hunters might be lured into a full sense of confidence. Oh no. Because, you know, like I said, it's a big old snail. Like, what's it gonna do?
SPEAKER_04Right, it's slowly moving, it looks not hostile at all. Yeah, it looks very tame, and you're just like, oh, this is no big deal then.
SPEAKER_02Um, so if any creature large enough to be a threat approaches too close, i.e., within its sensory range, uh, the snail unleashes a flash of scintillating light off of its shell and then attacks with its mace-like tentacles. What yeah. So it has a it has like a it's like a flashbang defense on its shell, which is cool. So um also uh an interesting thing about Flawless Snails in Fifth Edition is not only are their shells worth a lot, but as it moves, you know, a lot of times snails and slugs they leave behind a trail. Usually it's a nasty, yeah, slimy trail, though. Yes. Um well in this case it's a trail of treasure. That's literally what the heading was called was trail of treasure. Um it leaves behind a huh? Oh, I was just saying, um No, and it's not just like someone's someone at Wizards of the Coast isn't just gross. Okay. Um this the trail that it leaves behind quickly solidifies into a layer of nearly transparent, just like it's it's kind of like glass, actually. The residue can be harvested and cut to form window panes of varying clearness, which makes me think that the texture's like glass. Right. Um, it can also be heated and spun into glass objects of other sorts, which are some of my favorite videos on the internet to watch as well. Dude, glass blowing is so cool.
SPEAKER_01Like satisfying.
SPEAKER_02Can't help but appreciate all the work. Not even odd to the head. Not even oddly satisfying. Just straight up straight up satisfying.
SPEAKER_04So, yeah, they basically just leave behind I'm gonna go with you on this one. It basically is just like a substance that solidifies into glass.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And it's so it said that some which this I'm actually thinking about the like the implications of like this lifestyle now. Because like I sometimes you read things, and then when you when you say them, it makes you like turn. It over and look at a different layer of it. Yeah. And that's what I'm doing right now. But in addition to people hunting them for their shells, some people also make a living from trailing flail snails. I did it to collect his glass. Which, like, imagine that being your life. You and your family just follow a snail around and pick up its gross, slimy leavens. Well, they're not gross and or slimy by the point you actually collect it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, because you collect it when it's hardened. But also think about the fact that if you're doing that, you also probably have to know how to fight because hunters could be trying to kill this snail that you're following.
SPEAKER_01Oh. I want to read this family's adventures now.
SPEAKER_04So you are also like a defender of the snail as well.
SPEAKER_02Snail conservationist! Okay. What snail defender? That's what she said. I said snail conservationist.
SPEAKER_04I mean so you're you're they both fall under the same category.
SPEAKER_02Okay. No, you know what thought I had. Okay. It's because I was like, okay, this person, these people also do this because they don't want people to kill the flail snails because they're probably endangered or something. I don't know. We'll we'll go with that. Imagine they're endangered. And so I'm imagining them being like a very like um crunchy? No, like yeah, they would they would be crunchy, obviously, but that's just a general consequence of that. But like a very um like fire and brimstone um environmentalist type person. Oh and then I was like, but wait, if they really were that way, they're probably also vegan. And then I realized that these leavings are technically an animal product. And that just led me to the thought of them going into like a church and being like, Are these windows vegan? Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Like, and I had all that and all those thoughts in the span of like a second. And it just led to someone walking up and saying, Are these windows vegan?
SPEAKER_04Yes, those are made from the finest of flail snail droppings.
SPEAKER_02That's not vegan. That means they're not vegan. No, they're made from synthetics flail snail trail. I hate everything. I do too.
SPEAKER_04So anyway, if I had to Is their leavings edible though?
SPEAKER_01Well, okay, but vegan stuff is uh Well, no.
SPEAKER_04I mean, getting past that, I'm just curious legitimately now, like, do people eat the the like glassy trail?
SPEAKER_02I will say it is inedible to the snails. Which leads me to believe that people probably could not eat it. Probably. Now, people with pika, on the other hand, might want to eat it. I mean, also probably it hurt like hell, but I mean, I've seen people eat glass before on TV shows.
SPEAKER_04It's still bizarre to me though.
SPEAKER_02And it was not uh touted as being healthy. But anyway. Wow, this is just then eating glass is bad for you. Um, so again, it has back its cool shell. Good, good, good. Um, it's cool shell with a magic bounce type of effect. It says that the snail has advantage on saving throws against spells, and any creature that makes a direct spell attack has disadvantage on set attack roll. If the snail succeeds on the saving throw against the spell or an attack, or pardon, against the spell or the spell attack misses it, an additional effect can occur, which is now determined by rolling a d6 instead of a like percentage range. So one or a two causes the spell to uh fail, essentially. Um if it is an AoE type spell, then it fails. If the spell targets only the snail, it has no effect on the snail and is reflected back at the caster, and it uses the spell slot level DC attack bonus, yada yada of the caster.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02So this is the bounce effect. Right. Um three to four, it has no additional effect. It just fades out. It just misses. Or a five to six, the snail's shell converts some of the spell's energy into a burst of destructive force.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_02So this is essentially kind of like a bounce, but worse. Um each creature within 30 feet of the snail must make a 15 DC constitution saving throw, taking 1d6 force damage per level of the spell on a failed save and half as much on a successful one.
SPEAKER_03Oh no.
SPEAKER_02Oh yes. So it kind of like that's the that's the AoE bounce. So more or less, if you mess up your role against the snail, which you are likely to do because it has advantage or imposes disadvantage on you, something bad's probably gonna happen. Yeah, you So you should maybe just not try to hit it with magic. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Just kind of leave it just like without magic.
SPEAKER_02Just hit it physically. Um, also, the new scintillating shell ability. The shell emits dazzling brightly colored light until the end of the snail's next turn. Um, during this time, the light covers a 30-foot radius of bright light and then a radius of dim light for an additional 30 feet. So this is a lot of light. Yeah. Um, light beyond what the snail can even see.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and any creatures that see the snail uh have disadvantage on attack rolls against it. Uh additionally, any creature that is inside of the bright light and able to see this spell, or see the snail, pardon, when the power is activated, must succeed on a DC-15 wisdom save or be stunned until the effect of the spell ends. So literally like a flashbang. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_04It is basically a flashbang.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And then outside of that radius of effect, it still is hard to see.
SPEAKER_04Just on a bigger scale.
SPEAKER_02It also has it now has specifically five flail tentacles. Not four to six, five.
SPEAKER_04It just has five. Okay.
SPEAKER_02And they are not considered like they don't have their separate hit die. Oh hit dice, pardon. Um, so whenever the snail, so it has like one HP stat. Okay, if the snail takes ten damage or more in a single turn, one of its tentacles dies. Rip. If even one tentacle remains, the snail regrows all of the dead tentacles within one D4 days.
SPEAKER_04Okay, see, I was curious if they had like a regrowth effect.
SPEAKER_02See, there was not one mentioned prior to this, I think. I think it was kind of which I think was kind of an oversight.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like you're missing out on one of the biggest exciting things about like molluscs? Gastropods. Gastropods.
SPEAKER_02They're gastropods now. But like blue in opinion, what are they? I mean, snails are mollusks, so I'm gonna say they're mollusks. Okay. So again, if all the tentacles die, the snail retreats into its shell, gaining total cover, and begins wailing, which can now be heard for 600 feet, stopping only when it dies 5d6 minutes later. So it goes on for a much longer time. Oh no, no. Because prior it was a handful of rounds, and now it's like up to 30 minutes.
SPEAKER_04Now it's just minutes.
SPEAKER_02Up to 30. Up to 30 minutes. And at the very least, six.
SPEAKER_01Like, oh god, you kind of weep for these guys a little bit.
SPEAKER_02I I do. Um, healing magic that restores limbs, such as the regenerate spell, can it says halt this dying process. And I'm like, wait. As then they're still going to die? Like, like, do they like what does that mean?
SPEAKER_04I mean, doesn't halt just mean stop? I guess. As in halt just a yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04And if you do that, I would guess that it would grow back its tentacles over time.
SPEAKER_01Huh.
SPEAKER_02Okay. Travis figured it out. I'm just for some reason when I read that in my my brain, it was like temporarily. It was like um um um delay. Yeah. For some reason, my brain translated help to delay, or not help, pardon me, um, halt.
SPEAKER_04Well, yeah, bring or come to an abrupt stop.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Huh. Well, there you go. That's how you save a flail.
SPEAKER_04Uh as a noun, it is a suspension of movement or activity, typically a temporary one. Welcome to reading the dictionary.
SPEAKER_01So it's less um, it's less denotation more connotation. Yeah. Temporary.
SPEAKER_02And for some reason in my brain, the connotation of halt is like a temporary stop. Anyway. Anyway. Um, so this magical, glowy, magic reflecting shell sells for this is where the an inconsistency is. It sells for 5,000 GP in Volo's Guide to Monsters and is said to only sell for 2,500 in Tomb of Annihilation. So I don't know if the stock market crashed in the year between uh Volo's Guide to Monsters being released and Tomb of Annihilation being released, or if it was just kind of someone didn't check their work. It was Aceric's fault. Yeah, that fucking guy. Speaking of Aceric, um no, no. Oh, Tomb of Annihilation features the flail snail Unk. What was beautiful was one of the nine trickster gods of Cholt. Remember those guys? Yep. Whom Asteric killed and trapped within the titular tomb.
SPEAKER_04Oh. Yeah, so he's got a fucking flail snail just chilling in the tomb of annihilation.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so her spirit was stored within a robe, which I believe was, oh, what were they called? The robes that you can wear.
SPEAKER_04The robe of annihilation?
SPEAKER_02No. The um uh the robe of scintillating colors. Oh. Uh yes.
SPEAKER_01Suddenly all the pieces click into place.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, so or it was like the the uh equivalent of the robe of scintillating colors in fifth edition. Um so her spirit was stored in one of these robes, and this is there's a lot going on in Tomb of Annihilation, okay? So the the idea is that the canonical adventurers in Tomb of Annihilation happened upon this robe, and one of them put it on. And essentially, her spirit spoke to this adventurer and consensually possessed his body to help them defeat Asseric.
SPEAKER_03Ooh.
SPEAKER_02So it was like nice that she got revenge on Asteric, and also that she didn't possess someone without their consent, but it was also weird. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04She's a very nice trickster god, okay?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah? Yeah? So there you go. There's a there's a fun fact. There's a flail snail god, kinda. I mean, she's not the god of the flail snails or anything. She's just one of the trickster gods of Cholt, but she's a flail snail.
SPEAKER_04Who lives in a robe now?
SPEAKER_02Yes, there once was a flail snail who lived in a robe.
SPEAKER_01Oh, why do I love it so much?
SPEAKER_02You're you love it almost as much as you're gonna love the ecology article. Oh, yes. So, finally, the best part. The best part. We are going to talk about the ecology of the flail snail, the price of failure, which was released in 1999 in Dungeon Magazine, pardon me, Dragon Magazine. Ooh, issue 258. Why is it dungeon?
SPEAKER_01I don't either.
SPEAKER_02Oh, and this article is by Jonathan M. Richards, who that name feels familiar. I think he's written some other dragon articles. Probably. Probably three. Or other ecology articles, even.
SPEAKER_01Regardless, thank you.
SPEAKER_02Thank you, Jonathan. So, um, this is another one of those that follows uh Drelix and Co. And it's it's another one of those that's like it's a it's a story that has K that has um numbers notes in the margins, and it's a it's a good story, it's a funny story, go read it. I don't want to spoil the story. Um Okay. Well, d you know, because I love those that are like that are like narratives that are that are portrayed as narratives that like happen K Vape. Anyway, so um the reason that flail snails are immune to fire and poison, fire is because they have this obviously very thick shell, and also a layer of wet protective mucus that covers their skin. Because they're snails. So these two things, these two things working together keeps them from being damaged by fire. And as for poison, flail snails have such slow metabolisms that any poison that they intake is negated by antitoxins that its body produces before it can even metabolize the poison. Wow. Its metabolism is that slow that it literally produces antibodies faster than the poison can get it.
SPEAKER_04That's pretty insane considering how fast poison generally affects normal creatures.
SPEAKER_02Um so on their vision, which again also worth noting, I don't know if I said when this was released. This was released in 1999. So this is late Advanced Digital Dragons 2nd edition stuff. So some of this is contradicted later on. But like in my opinion, most of it's better, so. Um so the vision of a flail snail is obviously very limited, not only by the range, but just the capacity of it. Right. So it has its two sensory appendages, which are on either side of its head between two of its tentacles. And they can detect movement and differentiate between a range of light and dark in this 20-foot radius, but that's it. They don't see things, they don't see color, that kind of stuff.
SPEAKER_04They can just know if it's light or dark, basically.
SPEAKER_02Or if something's moving within a flail.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So flail snails are immune to most vision-based illusions. Which would make sense. Because, like, they can't see really what the illusion's supposed to be, so it's like whatever. Also, they're they're probably not smart enough. Because I think that their until in fifth edition is like three.
SPEAKER_06Which is admittedly better than before. Still not great.
SPEAKER_02So um they can be blinded by a tight or continual light spell cast on their sensory appendages, but a blinded flail snell can still detect movement, as that particular sense is based more upon the detection of air currents than actual vision. Oh my god.
SPEAKER_04Damn. So it really wouldn't do much.
SPEAKER_02Therefore, they only suffer a negative one to their attack roles. Um, and this is honestly later contradicted in the same article, I think, because later on in a different bit it says flail snail's aversion to bright light is is an instinctual, instinctual behavior because of the sun. The sun can dry out the mucus that coats the creature's body. So therefore, their fear of bright light is purely instinctual, and it says later in the same article the bright lights themselves have no debilitating effect on flail snails, which is a contradiction, but also basically it either doesn't affect them at all or barely affects them. It's just an instinctual fear of theirs. Well, it barely affects them physically, rather. Right. Emotionally, on the other hand. Um, these sensory appendages also house the creature's olfactory organs, which means that flail snails have a very good sense of smell. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Which would not have thought about them having the ability to smell, but yeah, me neither, like at all.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they have really good senses of smell, I guess.
SPEAKER_04Um, thinking about it now might actually be how they can find all the lichens and algae that they eat. Because it's not like those things really move.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I mean, that to be fair, they do also kind of just like crawl around and just like slurp it up as well.
SPEAKER_04So they can probably smell it and get like a general location of it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Huh.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That's that's what I'm going with. That's why they can smell.
SPEAKER_02So the shell, the way the shell functions in this publication, which is different, obviously, from how it does in fifth edition, right. I also notes that it it's the shell that's doing the protection, but it protects it from all spells, including spells that can be targeted at specific body parts, like magic missile.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02So even if you are like, I'm gonna try to hit it in the head with my magic missile, its shell will still protect it. So whenever a spell or spell like effect from a magical item is cast into flail snail, the following results occur, and it does say roll against a percentage die. Which I believe these actually work out to be the same as they were in uh Fiendfolia, which is just one to forty spell malfunction, uh 40 to 70 or 41 to 70 spell functions normally, 71 to 90 spell fails to function but is expended, and also uh, and then finally 90 to 100 spell is reflected back at the caster. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure that's like the same.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, but it's kind of an errata note that basically says, like, I don't care if you try to hit it in the head. It's not gonna work.
SPEAKER_04The shell still protects it.
SPEAKER_02However, what does work is the the idea is that the shell only affects magic directly cast at the fail snail, but it wouldn't prevent the creature from being like hurt by something that was created magically, such as a uh, you know, wall of iron, as created by the spell wall of iron. If it was created and then dumped on the snail, it would still hurt it. So it's like, you know, you can't hit it with a magic missile, but if something is not a not a magical item, but maybe something magically created, it can it can still hurt it.
SPEAKER_04You know, because it's not directly targeted at the snail itself, it's created like next to it.
SPEAKER_02And then yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_04Interesting. So I wonder if like uh poison fog or something like that would work. Because you could like create it next to it and then like moves into it. Yeah, lure it into it. I mean, obviously not poison, but something similar like lightning storm or yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, so I know we love talking about these guys' death whales. So the Flail Snell's death whales, used, are the only time it vocalizes. It is otherwise completely silent throughout its entire life. Damn.
unknownWhat the fuck?
SPEAKER_01I don't know why that like that's I don't know why that's so fucked up, right?
SPEAKER_04That's so weird.
SPEAKER_01Like that is legitimately a very weird, first of all, a very weird decision to make. Second of all, weird ecologically. Yeah, like, sure.
SPEAKER_04I guess that's just like an act of final revenge.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's like listen, you have to listen to me scream. And possibly get attacked by anything else that's around. Yes.
SPEAKER_02Hmm.
SPEAKER_04Well, okay. Bizarre.
SPEAKER_02So, um, we're finally gonna talk about some more things that can be used or that uh flail snail body parts can be used to make. Uh yes. So when ground up and mixed with their blood, uh, the stomach and liver of a flail snail are valuable ingredients in elixir of health, negating any previously ingested poison, I'm assuming on account of their just glacial metabolism. Yes, probably. Um flail snail's skin, along with a coating of the mucus that normally covers it, uh, can be finely ground into a potion of fire resistance, or used in the creation of a potion of fire resistance, which makes sense. Uh flail snail mucus can be used to create potions of climbing, because you know.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It says, however, this thickens the potion so much that it takes two full rounds to imbibe. Oh, nothing to enhance the taste, to say the least.
SPEAKER_04It just is if you're out of anything else, you can use that to make the potion. Yeah. You lovely slimy mucus. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So, um I uh I I save the best for last, kinda last. So the The way that this is put is hysterical to me. Oh boy. Because it says, and this is all this is actually uh completely a direct quote right here. Quote, the flail snail entry in Monstrous Compendium 5 Greyhawk Adventures under snail erroneously states that flail snails give live birth to one to three young. It also refers to them as, quote, silicon-based gastropods, and makes reference to flail snails or flail snail females and mothers. Flail snails, like most land-dwelling snails, are hermaphroditic, each creature manufacturing both egg and sperm cells. End quote. So uh Jonathan just came for Greyhawk's wig. He came for their kneecaps.
SPEAKER_01Fuck you. You know nothing about snails.
SPEAKER_04You're wrong.
SPEAKER_02Oh. So, um, with that, we're like, you know we had to talk about how they reproduce, right? You know we had to talk about.
SPEAKER_04I I've been waiting. Let's go.
SPEAKER_02So I I saved the I this is the um climax of the episode, if you will.
unknownJesus Christ.
SPEAKER_02It's so fun. What? Which are shell-like darts within specialized sex in the creature's body that play a role in their mating ritual. Would you like to hear about their mating ritual? Yes.
SPEAKER_04Yes, I wouldn't.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so again, I'm sorry for all the quotes here at the end of the episode, but like I had to. So I get it. Quote. They begin said ritual by slowly circling each other, then rubbing their heads and feet together. Their feet is what they move with. Like snails. You know what I mean? That's that part's not a quote. Returning to the quote. The love darts project from the creature's bodies and stab into their partner, causing neither pain nor damage. Different snail species produce differently shaped love darts. So it's very likely that this serves as a form of recognition for the two snails involved to ensure that they're mating with an appropriate species. Parenthetical. Pretty embarrassing to have mated with the wrong species entirely, but we digress, parenthetical. It also stimulates the snails' bodies, preparing them for the act of mating. Flail snails cannot produce sperm cells without first having sampled their intended mates' love darts. Hey, it works for them. End quote.
SPEAKER_04Wow. There are just so I had to just read that. So many things.
SPEAKER_02So much to unpack there. But we're gonna throw out the suitcase.
SPEAKER_04Ah, Jesus. Okay. Yep.
SPEAKER_02So that's how they mate, which is awesome. Um they reproduce by actually I'm not done talking about how they mate. They reproduce by exchanging packets of sperm cells with another partner through the through the genital pore. What? What the fuck is a genital pore? It's a small opening near the creature's head. That's what a genital pore is.
SPEAKER_04Oh, there was an actual answer to that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Okay. After mating is complete, each snail goes its own way, and the two might never meet again. Oh, that's kind of sad. Uh after about one month, each lays a dozen or so eggs under rocks or in small crevices. Uh, usually one to three of these eggs hatch into baby flail snails. And it says the young gastropods eat their own eggshells after hatching. Wait. Oh, I guess the I guess the snail parent like hangs out where near where their eggs are. They are then cared for, as mentioned in Fiendfolio, by the parent for the next two years until their club tentacles reach a weight of about five pounds or so. So that's how flail snails reproduce.
SPEAKER_04I mean, I'm not mad that I know. I just don't know what I was expecting.
SPEAKER_02That.
SPEAKER_04But genital pore.
SPEAKER_02Yep. Genital pore. Love darts, genital pores. Love darts and genital pores. So, really quickly, uh-huh. That was the climax. This is the falling action. Um, so in when this was requested to me, um, because they did request it to me specifically, thanks guys. Um I believe Ari mentioned in in their tweet that flail snails have a language. And I did not realize this. Well, okay, I I saw the tweet, obviously. Right. Because I'm doing this, but I forgot about this while I was doing my research until basically the very last minute, and I went and like dug through everything I'd ever I had looked up already to make sure that I didn't miss a paragraph somewhere or something. Um, it seems, as far as I can tell, that this is actually in Pathfinder. Oh. Because flail snails are in Pathfinder. Okay. And I am going to specifically talk about their kind of language in Pathfinder, um, because it was specifically mentioned, and also because we're we're running very short on time. And also, in a lot of respects, they are very similar between Pathfinder and Dungeons and Dragons. Yeah. And this is all taken off of Pathfinder's website. So, um, and a lot of this is also going to be quotes, because like I said, this was literally like a last-minute thing, and I was like, oh fuck, how do I speak flail snail? I have to find out. Um, so they are marginally more intelligent in Pathfinder. Marginally. With an intelligence of a whopping five. Beautiful. But they do have their own language. Um, they have no spoken language, but flail snails communicate using two different means, which, like, you know, they said completely silent, no spoken language. The first is an elaborate sign language of waving tentacles, which is used primarily for communicating like immediate things, like, you know, I need something, or giving a warning, or whatever. Um, the second is a complex chemical writing system encoded within the snail's slime. Yo. So each flail snail has its own unique chemical signature that makes its trail of slime immediately recognizable to other flail snails. Within each, uh, this is going into a quote now. Within its trail, each snail records a running dialogue of its thoughts, observations, and memories in a complex interaction of scents that can linger on the stone long after the slime is dried to dust. Other snails can read this dense inform this dense stream of information and edit it with their own trails, creating a vast intro of an cultural net narrative that at once contains the snail's greatest art and the sum of their collective history. Together, the slime trails of two dozen snails weave epic tales worthy of any philosopher poet. Um key difference in Pathfinder is that flail snails, I believe, are basically like lobsters. They kind of just replace their own cells indefinitely. Oh so, unless some outstanding circumstance affects them, they just kind of live for dying. Um, and it says, and and uh another insight into their communication says that most civilized humanoids tend to value speed and inference in their decision making, traits born of an evolution as soft, delicate things in a world of powerful predators. As a creature of ultimate defense and slow movement, the flail flail snail has none of the same needs. Instead, its own unique brand of consciousness is correspondingly slow and placid, prone to the absorption of vast amounts of information rather than any need to process or lead to conclusions. And then and it said that they're basically, you know, obviously we can't read their chemical trails. Right. Um, but it said that people who have managed to communicate with flail snails typically find them dull because everything is so slow and plotting. And also it says curiously, I thought this was a really interesting note, that flail snails view every thought and detail as separate and unrelated from all others. Which is, I think, is a very uh strong contrast, not only from humans in general, but also people like me who are trying to find who are always trying to find patterns and things that don't exist. Same. But I mean that is a function of being a human, because I feel like we categorize things to make it easier for our simple monkey brains, but not so for flail snails. It says, those monks or other scholars used to such things might recognize in the snail's cone-like observations a certain zen poetry hinting at deeper revelations. And indeed, if enlightenment is judged by perfect calm and inherent peace of mind, then the meditative flail snail may yet have the advantage over humanity. So basically they're like Zen poets. I love it.
SPEAKER_04That's fucking cool though.
SPEAKER_02So that's that's kind of that on the flail snail um language, which seems to, as far as I can tell, pretty much exist in only in Pathfinder. There, I unfortunately I don't really have time to go into their mating ritual because it's different in this. Um there's more goo involved. Oh. Yeah. Maybe one day. Maybe one day. But not now. Not not now. Maybe, maybe not ever. I don't know if anyone needs to know about that.
SPEAKER_04I mean, if you really want to know, I'm sure you can just look it up.
SPEAKER_02Probably. I mean, if you're maybe well, just just guys, just hang in there and see if I cover the Flail Snell Pathfinder mating ritual. That's a hint. Anyway, that's all. That's a hint. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Don't look at me. I have no idea. She's your friend.
SPEAKER_02She's hey! Yeah, try this is Travis, my associate. Anyway, thank you for listening to this episode. Took a lot longer than I thought it would, kind of like it probably takes a flail snail to get from point A to point B.
SPEAKER_01Uh, you know what? I I wasn't sure what to expect when you told me what we were going over, but I like it. It was not that. I settled in and I really enjoyed it. Thank you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, no, that was really interesting, honestly. Like thank you. I didn't know that there would actually be that much information about a flail snail.
SPEAKER_02Especially given that their publication history is so short. Like the bibliography is very short. Right.
SPEAKER_01But there's a lot, there's a lot going on in there. Catch Loon's bibliography on our Patreon. But thank you guys so much for listening. Um, don't forget to follow us on Twitter, on Instagram for all of your Dungeon Pedia needs.
SPEAKER_04Don't forget to tell your friends like snails, co-workers, especially if they like snails.
SPEAKER_01Things that are difficult to say, try and say that one from that one thing. I'm not saying it yet.
SPEAKER_02Style trial file snail? Fuck yeah! Holy shit. That one.
SPEAKER_01I'm that was impressive. Crushed it! Alright, I've peaked. Tongue twisters. If you if you're uh I've peaked. If your friends are a fan of tongue twisters.
SPEAKER_04Yes, let them know. Or if uh you have DM friends that might need some inspiration. This is an interesting thing to throw in there for sure.
SPEAKER_01It really is. Uh this was a suggested topic. If you have anything you'd like to suggest, you can email us at dungeonpedia.podcast at gmail.com.
SPEAKER_04And uh I guess with that, uh we'll catch you here next week on Dungeon Pedia.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I can't I can't resist. They they climb to a high point and begin at quote copulating, and they lower their entwined bodies on a massive rope of slime and hang there for hours or days until they're finished mating. That's how they fucking Pathfinder. I'm sorry, I had to. Ian.